


Resolutions

by Zenece



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-03-03 23:33:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2892203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zenece/pseuds/Zenece
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Resolutions (episode 2x21): The Voyager crew has to leave behind their beloved Captain and Chief Engineer...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Resolutions

A piercing sound permeated Kathryn Janeway’s consciousness and brought her out of what seemed like a deep sleep.  
She opened her eyes and noticed she wasn’t in her own quarters. There was a blue sky above her. And she wasn’t lying in a bed. She was in a stasis pod on a planet.

Looking to her right, B’Elanna Torres was lying in an identical pod, and she was also waking up. Both women simultaneously opened their pods from the inside and stepped out into the fresh air. It took each of them only a fraction of a second to remember their predicament.

Kathryn’s combadge chirped.  
“Sickbay to the Captain, this is the Doctor speaking.”

Janeway tapped it. “You’ve brought us out of stasis, I assume you have news.”

“Yes.” The Doctor’s voice sounded. “Our sensors show your vital signs are normal. How are you feeling?” 

“We’re fine.” Janeway answered briskly, glancing over at B’Elanna. “How long were we in stasis?”

There was a brief pause before the Doctor answered. “A total of seventeen days.” 

“That long?” Janeway’s tone matched the look of disbelief on her Chief Engineer’s face.

“I wanted to exhaust every possibility of finding a cure…” The EMH’s voice drifted away.

“And?” The Captain asked, hopeful.

The Doctor’s voice was strained. “I regret to inform you that I have been unsuccessful.” 

Janeway’s shoulders sagged and Torres let out a deep breath.

“I have not been able to develop a counteragent for the virus, and I have no other options to explore.” The Doctor continued. 

B’Elanna’s head snapped up. “What about keeping us in stasis aboard Voyager?”

“Something in the planet’s environment is shielding you from the effects of the virus.” The Doctor replied solemnly. “If you leave, you risk a recurrence of the disease, which would undoubtedly prove fatal.” He paused for a moment. “The only option I can think of is contacting the Vidiians. They have sophisticated medical technology. It’s possible they might be able to help.”

At his mentioning of the Vidiians, B’Elanna looked at her Captain with wide eyes, remembering the horrifying experiment they did to her, extracting her Klingon DNA.

Janeway recognized in the other woman’s look what she felt deep down: there was no way she or B’Elanna would allow the crew to risk a repeat of such horrible experiences with the Vidiians just to save them.  
She pursed her lips.  
“We’ll take it under advisement, Doctor. Thank you for your efforts. Janeway out.” 

The Captain turned to her Chief Engineer. “What do you think?” 

B’Elanna shook her head. “It’s too risky. In my opinion, they’re more likely to harvest organs from the crew rather than help in any way. I don’t want to be responsible for that.”

Janeway nodded slowly. “I agree.” She paused. “But you realize what this means…”

B’Elanna just gave her a hard look. 

Keeping her eyes on her Chief Engineer, Janeway tapped her combadge.  
“Janeway to Chakotay.”

The reply came instantly, as if the First Officer had been waiting for her hail.  
“Yes Captain?”

“I’m sure you’re aware of the Doctor’s report.” She began. 

“Yes.” Chakotay replied. “I’ve already ordered a long range scan of the area to see if there are any Vidiian ships nearby.” 

“Chakotay, I want you to stop your scans and cease all efforts to contact the Vidiians immediately. It’s too dangerous and neither Lieutenant Torres nor I want you to put yourselves at risk for us.”  
She paused just long enough for Chakotay to object. “But Captain!” 

“That’s an order Commander.” Kathryn sharply broke off his protest. She took a deep breath. “I’m turning over command of the ship to you on a permanent basis. Your orders are to resume a course for the Alpha Quadrant.”

“You can’t be serious Kathryn!” Chakotay interjected.

“I’m deadly serious Commander.” Janeway stated firmly, emphasizing his rank to indicate he had little choice in the matter. “Resume course for home and under no circumstances contact the Vidiians. Do you understand?” 

There was a pause before Chakotay answered bleakly. “Yes Captain.” 

Janeway let out a breath she didn’t know she had been holding. “I’ll prepare a message for the crew.”

When the comm link closed, the seriousness of the situation sank in and Janeway grabbed the stasis pod for support. 

B’Elanna saw her Captain struggle with her composure for a moment and swallowed a lump in her own throat. She started to reach out to comfort the other woman, but she wasn’t sure it would be appreciated. Her hand fell back against her side, failing to breach the unseen barrier between Captain and crewman. 

~

B’Elanna came back to the site and noticed a lot of equipment had already been beamed down. The shelter was there –still to be assembled-, as well as large containers with equipment and tools. There was also furniture, a replicator and some personal belongings. 

She knew a type nine shuttlecraft had been autopiloted to the surface as well and was sitting a few clicks north of them. Janeway had already informed her she intended to continue the Doctor’s search for a cure, and in the event she was successful, they could try to catch up with Voyager using the shuttlecraft.

In the middle of all the boxes Janeway stood thinking, then started typing on a PADD. 

“I was right.” B’Elanna spoke as she neared the Captain. “The small clearing less than a click west from here will be perfect to set up the shelter module.” 

Janeway merely looked up and nodded. 

“What are you doing?” B’Elanna asked.

“Making a list of what I need for my research.” Janeway replied, still typing.  
“Petri dishes, protein analyzer,…” She mumbled to herself. “DNA sequencer.” She added to the list. 

B’Elanna checked the inventory list for the parts of the small power station that had already been beamed down while Janeway uploaded her requests to Voyager. The research equipment would be the last transport.

“Do you really think you can find a cure?” The Chief Engineer asked doubtfully. After all, the Doctor had already given it his best try. 

Janeway got up and started rummaging through the stuff that was already there. “It may take a while, but yes I do.” She spoke. “If I can find a specimen of the insect that infected us, I can begin analyze protein cofactors. That might give us the information we need to find out what it is in this environment that’s keeping us from being sick and how to replicate it.” 

Needle in a haystack, B’Elanna thought, but she kept that to herself. She didn’t want to dwell on having to spend the rest of her life here. It was much better to keep herself occupied and think about things later. She didn’t feel equipped to handle it all now. 

“Captain?” B’Elanna drew the other woman’s attention. “Could you give me a hand?” She indicated a large panel she was trying to lift. “I would like to set up the power station as soon as possible.” 

Janeway helped her move the equipment to the right spot. 

“Thanks Captain.” B’Elanna spoke, picking up the PADD that held the blueprint of the power station. 

Janeway watched her for a moment. “You know, B’Elanna, it occurs to me we aren’t exactly in a command structure anymore. Maybe you should call me Kathryn.”

B’Elanna looked up, frowning. “Okay…” She offered hesitantly. It would be strange to call the Captain by her first name. The chain of command had never really allowed for much personal interaction between the two of them. And while B’Elanna respected and liked her Captain, it seemed strange to consider her as an equal, a friend. But then, B’Elanna thought, they were going to spend a considerable amount of time here together. Maybe even the rest of their lives…

Before she had time to get deeper into it, a comm signal interrupted them.  
“Chakotay to Janeway.” 

Kathryn tapped her combadge. “Janeway here.” 

“We’re transporting the last of the equipment now. Could you check it over and let us know if you’re missing anything?” Chakotay spoke as the transport was executed. 

Janeway and Torres headed over to the newly appeared boxes. 

“We will.” Janeway replied. 

“We’ll remain in orbit until we hear from you.” Chakotay added, his voice strained. “And after that we can still remain in communication for approximately thirty six hours.” 

The Captain nodded. “I’ll contact you before the day is over. Janeway out.” 

~

Janeway and Torres spent the rest of the day building the power station and setting up the shelter module. 

By the time they were finished, it was already late in the afternoon and Janeway contacted Voyager.  
“Commander, we have successfully set up the power supply and the shelter seems to be conforming to specifications.” 

“That’s good to hear.” Chakotay replied. “Do you have everything you need?” 

Janeway looked around at all the boxes and equipment that lay strewn around. “I don’t know what else could possibly be missing.”

She paused and looked at B’Elanna who silently nodded. 

“Commander…” She spoke hesitantly, then shook her head, correcting herself. “Chakotay, you’re cleared to leave orbit.” 

There was a long pause. “Yes Captain.” Came the subdued reply. 

“Contact us tomorrow evening before you move out of communications range.” Kathryn added. “I’d like to say goodbye to the crew then.”

The commlink closed and both women stood before the shelter, unsure of what to do next. 

“We should get a bite to eat and then get some sleep.” B’Elanna offered trying to steer their thoughts to something else. 

Kathryn nodded and then went inside, turning her head to speak. “By the way, full disclosure: I’m an awful cook. I once burned a replicated pot roast.” 

B’Elanna raised her eyebrows. “In that case I’ll do the replicating.” She went over to the newly installed replicator and ordered soup and sandwiches. 

“Anything else I need to know?” She asked as she put everything on the table. “You don’t snore, do you? I don’t think the sound proofing is adequate enough for that.”

Janeway merely laughed as she sat down at the table.  
“This isn’t too bad.” She spoke, looking around the shelter. “It might be kind of interesting, roughing it for a while.” 

“Explain to me how this,” B’Elanna indicated the shelter around them, “is ‘roughing it’… What more could we possibly need?” 

Kathryn pursed her lips. “We don’t have a bathtub.” She pointed out. “I love a bath. It’s my favorite way of relaxing.” 

B’Elanna smiled. “There’s a geothermal spring not too far from here. It has water pooling in the bedrock just behind those trees.” She pointed in their direction. “I guess that will have to do.” 

Janeway’s eyes glimmered. “Really? That’s wonderful! Now I may never want to leave here.”  
Her smile faltered as she realized they might have no choice in the matter.  
They were both quiet for a couple of minutes.

“Well,” Kathryn said, getting up to place their utensils back in the replicator, “we should probably get some sleep.” 

B’Elanna nodded. “Goodnight Cap- Kathryn.”

Janeway gave her a faint smile, before entering her bedroom. “Goodnight B’Elanna.” 

The half-Klingon looked around and then dimmed the lights of the living compartment. Their first night in their new home, she thought as she entered her own bedroom. What a strange notion. 

~

The next day, Kathryn went out and set up as many insect traps as she could. She was confident that when she caught the right specimen, she could find a cure. And they wouldn’t have to spend the rest of their lives on this planet. The sooner she found the cure, the sooner they could take the shuttle in order to catch up with Voyager and forget this ever happened. 

B’Elanna focused first on getting their shelter and supplies in order. Then she set out to explore their surroundings. She wanted to get an estimate on what natural resources they could rely on for their extended stay. Harry had made some detailed surveys of the area before Voyager had left orbit, and B’Elanna used them as a map on her little expedition. 

She smiled sadly as she thought of the young ensign and the way his voice had hitched over the comm link when he’d said goodbye to her. Harry Kim was a dear friend and she was going to miss him. 

B’Elanna looked up to the sky where Voyager could not be seen and silently bid them all farewell, before continuing on her survey. 

In the late afternoon, both women returned to the shelter. 

B’Elanna took something out of her pocket. “Here.” She tossed something looking very similar to an apple to Janeway. “It tastes a bit like pineapple.” 

The Captain tried it and found that it did, even though the texture was completely different. 

“I also found other trees with fruits.” B’Elanna added. “I didn’t have time to analyze all of them, but I’ve included their location in the map.” She held up the PADD. “I’ll make an inventory of everything edible we can find. Replicating everything takes up a lot of our energy.” 

Janeway nodded, moving over to her research equipment. She wanted to set it up so she could get started as soon as she caught a few insects. 

“Need a hand?” B’Elanna offered as she saw her Captain struggle with the heavy DNA-sequencer. 

“Thanks.” Kathryn nodded. “I was thinking of using this part of the cabin to set up my lab.” 

B’Elanna nodded. “Sure, why not. I’ll help you haul everything to the right spot.” 

“Thanks B’Elanna.” Janeway said. “Let’s put this right here. I’ll need the microscope on the table, and the protein analyzer can fit right next to it.” 

“Catch anything yet?” B’Elanna asked.

“No. But I’ll check again tonight.” Came the reply. “I have to get my lab up first before I can do anything anyway.” 

“Chakotay to Janeway.” 

Even though both women had been expecting the call, it still startled them. They’d both said their private goodbyes and now the time had come for the final words.  
Janeway took a deep breath. “Janeway here.” 

On the other end of the line it was clear that Chakotay did the same thing before speaking. “We’re about to move out of communications range Captain. How are you faring?” 

“We’re doing quite well.” Janeway answered and paused briefly, steadying herself against the table. “I’d like to speak to the crew now.” 

“Your comm link has been put through the entire ship.” 

Janeway nodded, unseen. “This is Kathryn Janeway.” She started. “I’ve never liked saying goodbye, so I’ll make this brief, but I want you all to know that serving as your Captain has been the most extraordinary experience of my life. No Captain could ask more than what this crew has given; bravery, compassion and strength of character. I know you’ll be the same steadfast crew for Commander Chakotay as you have been for me…” 

She trailed off, but then spoke strongly again. “I think what I’ll miss most is the fun, the times we joked together, the games on the Holodeck. I’ll remember the laughter more than anything.”

Looking at B’Elanna, Janeway continued. “Lieutenant Torres and I won’t be with you for the rest of your journey, but we hope you’ll carry us with you in your thoughts. We wish you a safe and speedy journey home.”

There was a pause before Chakotay replied with a thick voice. “Thank you Captain, Lieutenant. I’m sure I speak for the entire crew when I say we will always remember your grace and courage. And I would like to add that it has been an honor serving with both of you. May the Great Spirit watch over you.”

The comm link closed with a finality that was almost tangible in the air. 

They both stood immobile, processing their new reality for long minutes, before Janeway abruptly moved again.  
“We should get the protein analyzer in here.” 

B’Elanna followed her out. “Yes Captain.” 

~

After two weeks they had settled in a nice routine together. In the morning they would usually have breakfast together. Then Kathryn would set out to do her rounds, checking her traps and setting up new ones, taking a light snack with her. B’Elanna would mostly do something useful, like maintain the power station, gather wood and fruits or even tend to the small garden she’d managed to set up with seeds that Neelix had provided them with before Voyager had left. 

They got together in the afternoon to eat and afterwards Kathryn spent the rest of the day examining the insects she’d caught that day. While they spent most of their time during the day separately and in the outside, in the evening they would both sit in the shelter’s living quarters, Janeway usually with a book, B’Elanna tinkering with some equipment. 

The atmosphere on New Earth –as they had named the planet- was generally amicable. Yet although B’Elanna had gotten used to calling the Captain by her first name, she still tried to maintain a respectful distance. Just like on Voyager, the Captain was friendly but only accessible to a certain point. B’Elanna would’ve liked to get to know her companion a little better, but she wasn’t sure how to start, especially since Kathryn insisted on seeing their predicament as ‘temporary’ until she found a cure. 

~

On the twenty-fourth day of their stay on the planet, Kathryn was making her way back to the shelter after checking her traps. One of the traps had disappeared and she’d spent almost an hour looking for it. It was very late in the afternoon already, and she was getting hungry. No doubt B’Elanna would already have started dinner. 

After spending that many days on the planet Kathryn was getting quite familiar with the insects indigenous to New Earth. There were many different kinds and especially in the early days, when she caught one exotic looking insect after the other, Kathryn had been sure she’d find the right one. But now, she kept catching the same ones each day and those weren’t the ones responsible for their predicament. With each passing day, her hopes of finding a cure dwindled more.

Upon approaching their camp, the scent of burned meat filled Kathryn’s nostrils. She frowned. 

“B’Elanna?” She called inquiringly as she came out of the woods.  
She stopped short when she saw the half-Klingon sit next to a campfire, slowly rotating a small animal on a spit above the flames. 

B’Elanna grinned like the proverbial cat. “I caught a rabbit.” She glanced at the animal on the spit. “Or at least this planet’s version of one.” 

Kathryn’s eyebrows rose. “A rabbit?” She spoke, licking her lips. “How on Earth did you manage that?” 

“I modified one of your traps.” B’Elanna grinned. “And it worked like a charm.” 

Kathryn pursed her lips and frowned. “That wouldn’t be one of the traps that was over by the river, would it? The one that I’ve been looking for for the last hour?” She spoke irritably.

“Eh… yes?” B’Elanna spoke, realizing that the Captain was not amused. “Sorry, I didn’t realize…” 

“That I’d need this trap to catch insects for my research?” Kathryn added acerbically. 

B’Elanna frowned. “It was only one trap.” She countered carefully, unsure why the other woman seemed so hostile. There were dozens of traps scattered all over the place. One more or less would hardly make a difference. “Besides, you’re catching the same bugs day after day anyway and they’re obviously not the ones you’re looking for.” She indicated the spit. “At least this way we got some real food to eat.” 

“I don’t want real food.” Kathryn spoke harshly. “What I want is to get off this god-forsaken planet!”

Angrily, she marched into the shelter, leaving B’Elanna sitting with raised eyebrows by the fire. With a worried frown, the half-Klingon got up and took the spit off the fire before following the other woman inside. 

When she entered, the living quarters were empty and B’Elanna made her way to the Captain’s bedroom. She hadn’t yet been in there. It was an unspoken agreement that their bedrooms were private. Yet now, B’Elanna gently knocked on the door and entered. 

Kathryn Janeway was sitting on her bed in the sparsely decorated room, facing away from the door.

“Are you alright?” B’Elanna asked softly.

The Captain shook her head almost imperceptibly. “What happens if I don’t find a cure?” She whispered, looking at B’Elanna. “I don’t know if I can spend the rest of my life on this planet…”

For the first time since they got stranded, B’Elanna managed to ‘forget’ that the other woman was her Captain. All she could see was someone who desperately needed a friend. She sat down on the bed next to the other woman –something she never would have done on Voyager- and gently grabbed her hand. “We would make it work. But that won’t be necessary because you’ll find a cure.” The half-Klingon spoke with a confidence she didn’t feel. 

Kathryn sighed deeply and rubbed her forehead. “I’m stuck with my research.” She uttered abjectly. “Completely and utterly stuck.”  
Frustrated, she got up, placing one hand in her side while she gesticulated with the other. “It’s like you said, I keep catching the same bugs and they’re not the ones I need.”  
She sighed. “I tried different locations, different baits, … I even adjusted the traps’ mechanisms.” 

B’Elanna got off the bed and gently squeezed the other woman’s shoulder. “Maybe you need a break.” 

Kathryn turned around, eyes wide. “I’m not ready to give up yet.” 

B’Elanna tilted her head. “I’m not saying you should. But you’ve been at this for twelve hours a day, seven days a week since we got here.” She shrugged. “Maybe you need to step back from it, get a fresh perspective.” 

With a sigh, Kathryn looked down. “Maybe you’re right.” She whispered. 

“It’ll help. You’ll see.” B’Elanna spoke and grabbed the other woman’s hand. “Let’s start by eating that rabbit I caught.” 

With a slight smile, Kathryn nodded and let herself be guided outside. 

They sat down by the fire and B’Elanna divided the meat, putting it onto two plates. “One piece of rabbit.” She smiled. “The vegetables are replicated, but I hope to have some salad of our own produce soon.” 

Kathryn tentatively tasted the meat. “Not bad.” She grinned. “But it tastes like chicken.” 

B’Elanna tasted it too and laughed. “You’re right, it does. But it still beats replicated meat.” 

“That it does.” Kathryn nodded.

They continued eating in silence, enjoying the real, non-replicated flavor of the rabbit/chicken. 

After dinner, they sat back and Kathryn tilted her head to let the last rays of sunshine of the day fall on her face.

“Would it really be so bad?” B’Elanna spoke softly after a while. “To spend the rest of our lives here if you didn’t find a cure?” 

With her eyes closed, Kathryn exhaled. “Maybe not.” She answered slowly. “And there may be a day when I’ll come to accept this, but I’m not there yet.” She turned her head to look at the half-Klingon, hoping the other woman would understand. “I need to keep looking.” 

B’Elanna nodded and opened her mouth when there was a sudden rustling in the woods.

Immediately both women were on alert and B’Elanna grabbed the phaser she’d used to get the fire started. 

“Over there.” Kathryn pointed at the underbrush where a small ape-like primate could be seen. It observed both women, as if it was wondering what they would do.

B’Elanna pointed her phaser at it, but Kathryn grabbed her arm. “What are you doing?” She whispered as to not spook the animal.

“I want to know if it tastes like chicken too.” B’Elanna replied softly.

With pursed lips and a frown, Kathryn took the phaser out of the other woman’s hands, tossing it aside.  
Carefully, she took a step forward, extending her hand to the primate. “Hello.” She spoke softly, smiling as the little animal cocked his head as if it was listening. “Are you hungry?” She continued. “Is that why you came here?” She paused as if waiting for a reply, but of course none came. “I’m Kathryn, that’s B’Elanna.” She added, indicating the other woman. “We’ve had to move into your neighborhood, but I hope we can be friends.” 

The primate screeched and climbed into a tree, disappearing from view. 

Kathryn sighed. “Maybe he’ll come back.” 

B’Elanna quirked her eyebrow. “Looking for a pet?”

“No. Looking for a clue about primate physiology on this planet.” She turned around to explain. “They must have to contend with insect bites too.” Her eyes gleamed with excitement. “Maybe I should be out looking for other primates. I might be missing something important.” She grabbed B’Elanna’s arm. “Think your modified trap could catch one alive?”

“I could try.” B’Elanna replied while Kathryn went inside the shelter to look over the data she had on the physiology of indigenous life so far.

The half-Klingon shook her head. Clearly the Captain was not yet ready to accept their fate.

~

More days passed in more or less the same way. With renewed energy Kathryn continued her research, including the other indigenous species on the planet. She seemed even more dedicated to her research than before. 

In a way, that dutiful commitment bothered B’Elanna who had learned to appreciate their predicament. Sure, she missed Voyager, her friends, her engine room, but there was enough equipment to tinker with here and she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed the fresh air and the sunshine. In a way she felt sorry for the Captain, who was so focused on her goal she forgot to enjoy the present. 

But, B’Elanna thought, that just defined who she was. On Voyager she had been determined to get her crew home, foregoing anything else, even giving up most of her personal life. And here, on New Earth, she was sacrificing everything again to get them both home, first to Voyager and eventually to Earth. 

Six weeks into their stay on the planet, B’Elanna got up in the morning and replicated some oatmeal for breakfast. A few minutes later, Kathryn came out of her bedroom and headed straight for the replicator. 

B’Elanna dutifully waited until she’d had her first sip of coffee before she addressed the other woman.  
“I was thinking maybe today we could go hiking and have a picnic somewhere in the hills.” She spoke.

Kathryn looked at her with raised eyebrows, over the rim of her cup. “I have to check the traps in beta-four today.” 

“Maybe you could do that tomorrow?” B’Elanna suggested, indicating the window. “I want to show you the view from that ledge. It’s spectacular.” 

“Some other time, alright?” Kathryn replied. “I have a feeling that today might be the day I make a breakthrough.” 

B’Elanna tilted her head back with a sigh. “How much longer will this go on?” With a frown she looked at the other woman. “What will it take for you to accept that this-,” she gestured around her, “is our life now?”

“I told you I’m not giving up yet.” Kathryn replied vehemently, her voice rising. “You might have forgotten Voyager or Earth, but I haven’t.” 

“I haven’t forgotten anything!” B’Elanna yelled back. “I miss them just as much as you do, and it hurts to know that I’ll most likely never see my home again. But I’m here now and my life on this planet is good too. And yours could be as well, if you would let it!”  
She extended her hand. “Come with me today, let me show you.” 

Kathryn looked at her, her face unreadable.  
“I have to go check my traps.” She spoke hoarsely after a minute. Grabbing her case, she brushed past B’Elanna to the door, disappearing into the woods.

The half-Klingon shook her head as she watched her go and let out a long deep sigh. 

~

Kathryn strode through the woods on her way to sector beta-four, thinking about their conversation. In a way she understood what B’Elanna was saying, but she wasn’t yet ready to give up. In the last two weeks, she’d managed to catch two new insects. And she had only just begun her research on the primates on this planet. She couldn’t just walk away from that. 

Kathryn reached one of her traps and noticed to her satisfaction that it contained an insect she hadn’t seen before. 

There was a faint rustling in the underbrush and Kathryn looked around, thinking B’Elanna had followed her. “Hello? B’Elanna?” She called out, but there was no response. 

With a shrug, Kathryn redirected her attention to the trap and carefully transferred the insect to a specimen jar she carried inside her case. A screech coming from the underbrush made her turn her head and she saw the small ape-like creature that had visited their camp a while back. 

With a smile, Kathryn approached him. “Well, hello again.” She crouched and extended her hand. “You certainly cover a lot of territory. Or are you following me?” 

The animal raised his arms in an almost comical way, while it screeched again. 

“Do you understand me?” Kathryn continued as she showed him the specimen jar. “There. Know what that is?” She carefully put the jar into her case. “That little insect just might be what gets me out of your backyard. What do you think of that huh?” 

Very suddenly, the atmosphere around her changed. The wind picked up and ominous looking clouds formed quickly over her head. The primate screeched louder, looking up at the sky. “What is it?” Kathryn asked. “What’s happened to the sky?”

A plasma discharge crackled through the air and the primate seemed to get more agitated.  
“If you’re suggesting I should get out of here, I agree.” She spoke, grabbing her belongings. 

The animal had disappeared into the woods and Kathryn turned to head back to the shelter. Her surroundings were now almost dark, except when the violent discharges lit up the air while shaking the ground. Kathryn stumbled, unable to keep her balance. 

She clutched her case more firmly, especially since it contained an insect she hadn’t yet examined, and grabbed a branch for support as the ground shook again. Again, she couldn’t hold her balance and stumbled. Over the howling wind she could faintly hear a sound. 

“Kathryn! Kathryn!!” 

Relief flooded through her when she saw B’Elanna approaching. 

“Are you okay?” B’Elanna yelled to make herself clear over the thundering noise around them. 

“I’m fine! I couldn’t carry the case and keep my balance.” Kathryn yelled back. 

B’Elanna helped the other woman up. “Give it to me!” 

“What’s happening?” Kathryn asked, anxiously looking around.

B’Elanna pushed her forward, keeping them both upright while carrying the case. “Some kind of plasma storm!” She answered tightly, focusing on getting them to safety. “Our weather system didn’t see it coming.” 

Stumbling, they managed to reach the shelter while the storm raged on around them. Inside the cupboards were open and half of their household utensils lay strewn around the floor. The ground shook again as another plasma surge impacted the planet and one of the cupboards tipped over, falling onto the floor. 

B’Elanna grabbed the other woman, pulling her to safety. “Get under the table.” She yelled. “It’ll be safer there.” 

Kathryn did so without questioning the half-Klingon. B’Elanna moved beside her, wrapping a protective arm around the other woman. 

Outside, the storm only increased in strength and plasma discharges were coming right after one another.  
More things fell to down and Kathryn cried out as the DNA-sequencer hit the ground. As she feebly reached out for it, B’Elanna held her tighter. 

“No!” Kathryn groaned as the protein analyzer also smashed into pieces. Without that equipment her research was as good as dead. 

B’Elanna held her, partly to prevent her from crawling out of their makeshift shelter and partly to comfort her. With a desperate sob, Kathryn closed her eyes and leaned back in B’Elanna’s arms. 

They stayed huddled under the table until the storm passed. After that, they crawled out from under it and surveyed the damage inside the shelter. Apart from the smashed research equipment and some broken glassware, the damage was not too bad. A small tree was now situated on their veranda and the roof was a bit dented, but it wasn’t anything that they couldn’t repair. 

Subdued Kathryn stood amidst her broken equipment. 

B’Elanna lightly touched her arm, understanding how painful this must be for the other woman. “Let’s check outside.” She spoke softly. “Maybe some of the research traps are still intact.” 

Kathryn cast her a look indicating that she held no such hope, but she went outside anyway. 

Near the shelter, broken branches lay strewn all over the place, some with remnants of the traps still attached to them.  
Kathryn crouched near an intact looking trap and checked it, but it was no longer functional. 

She looked down, defeated. “None of this is salvageable either.” She bit her lip. “There’s no way I can continue to do my research.”

B’Elanna exhaled. “I’m sorry.” She whispered heartfelt. 

With a determined sigh, the Captain stood up and turned to B’Elanna. “Well, that’s one way of letting go.” She spoke with a grim expression on her face.  
Then she grabbed one of the branches and cast it aside. “Let’s clean this place up.” 

“I need to check on the power station first.” B’Elanna commented. “I don’t want to take any chances with our power supply.” 

Kathryn nodded solemnly. “Go ahead. I’ll start with this.” 

Sensing that the other woman needed some time alone, B’Elanna grabbed her toolbox and headed off to check the damage done to the power station. 

~

The same evening they sat inside the shelter, eating replicated macaroni and cheese. 

Never one to sit around and sulk, Kathryn had cleared up most of the debris in and around the shelter while B’Elanna had checked their equipment. The power supply had only suffered minor damage, but weather system had taken a big hit. It would take B’Elanna some time to rebuild it. 

“We have to figure out a warning system for these kinds of storms.” B’Elanna spoke while she ate. “If it happens again, I’d like to be prepared.” 

Kathryn nodded slowly. 

“Good thing we didn’t take that hike uphill.” B’Elanna spoke, remembering her proposal of that morning. 

“We can go some other time.” Kathryn replied. “Plenty of time now.” 

“Maybe.” B’Elanna spoke neutrally. 

Kathryn frowned. “This morning you seemed a lot more enthusiastic.” 

The half-Klingon shrugged. “I kind of wanted to go today… You know, do nothing, relax…”  
At Kathryn’s questioning look, she explained. “Today’s my birthday.” 

“Oh.” The other woman spoke and her expression softened. “Well… Happy birthday.” She offered.

B’Elanna slightly smiled back. “Thanks.” 

“You know,” Kathryn spoke, “if you want to relax, why don’t you go to the geothermal spring later and enjoy a nice long soak?” 

Tilting her head, B’Elanna rubbed her neck. “After a day like today, maybe I will.” 

~

B’Elanna undressed and left her clothes on a neat pile next to the spring.  
She stepped into the pool and sat down, letting out a deep sigh as the warm water engulfed her body. She leaned back against the backrest and closed her eyes. 

The backrest, like most of the things she’d built since their arrival on the planet, had survived the storm. They’d been very lucky that the damage was so minor and that they hadn’t gotten hurt. 

B’Elanna exhaled heavily, enjoying the sensation of the water sloshing around her body.  
After a while she sat up and reached for her sponge. The chilling air formed goose bumps on her body and hardened her nipples.  
With a shiver she slid back in the water.

She thought about the storm and how it had destroyed Kathryn’s equipment, effectively putting an end to her research. B’Elanna hoped the other woman wouldn’t take it too hard. She seemed more or less alright, but B’Elanna knew how appearances could be deceiving, especially since Kathryn had put her heart and soul into finding a cure since they’d gotten stranded on the planet. The half-Klingon would have to keep a close eye on the other woman. 

B’Elanna moved and the water sloshed against her lips. She lifted her legs out of the water and scrubbed them with the sponge. Lightly, she let her hand trail upwardly over her thighs and shivered again, but this time it wasn’t from the cold. 

She slowly let her hand trail even higher and it occurred to her that it had been ages since she had touched herself like that. Her bedroom in the shelter had thin walls and she wasn’t exactly good at keeping quiet when pleasuring herself. 

B’Elanna lightly touched her flesh and moaned softly. It felt good to let go like this. She made a mental note to do it more often.  
Her other hand slid up and drew slow and lazy circles around her nipples under the water surface.

A fleeting thought entered the half-Klingon’s mind: would the Captain also do this here? Immediately her imagination provided her with an image of Kathryn Janeway in the throes of passion and that turned her on even more. While thinking of her sole companion on the planet, B’Elanna came quickly and forcefully. 

With a satisfied sigh, she leaned back in the water and enjoyed the feeling of contentment that was spreading all over her body. 

After reveling in the feeling for a while, B’Elanna sat up and quickly washed her hair before getting out of the warm water. She hurried to get dry and to get dressed, as the chill evening air was too cold for comfort. 

After a short walk back, she entered the shelter, her hair still damp. The temperature inside was much more pleasant and B’Elanna quickly closed the door.

Kathryn was standing at the replicator and smiled as she saw the other woman.  
“Did you enjoy that?” She asked, unaware of the double entendre of her question. 

B’Elanna had the good grace to blush a little. “Yeah.” She answered honestly. 

“Sit down.” Kathryn ordered. “And close your eyes.” 

B’Elanna threw her a questioning look, not having expected the other woman to be so cheerful, but Kathryn just grinned and nodded at the couch. With a shrug, the half-Klingon complied and wondered what her Captain was up to.  
She heard the replicator activate, then some small hustle and then Kathryn sat down on the couch next to her. 

“Open your eyes.” Came the soft voice, laced with a smile. 

B’Elanna did as ordered and saw a small chocolate cake, covered in chocolate ganache, with one burning candle on top. Kathryn was holding it with a grin on her face.  
“Happy birthday!” 

B’Elanna stared dumbfounded at the cake for a moment, then smiled. “I… Thanks.” She uttered, surprisingly touched by the gesture. 

“Well…” Kathryn drawled and nodded at the candle. “Make a wish.” 

The half-Klingon bit her lip and then blew out the candle, silently wishing they would find a way to be happy together in their new home.  
With a grin she lifted her eyebrows. “The cake looks great. I thought you said you couldn’t cook!” 

Kathryn placed the cake on the side table as she got up to get a knife, two plates and two small forks. She grinned. “Considering the fact that it took me the better part of an hour to simply replicate this, I wouldn’t exactly say I’m your average kitchen princess. Besides,” she cut two pieces off the cake, “you haven’t tasted it yet. It might be disgusting.” 

“Good point.” B’Elanna quipped. “Maybe you should go first.” 

Quirking one eyebrow, Kathryn took a bite of the chocolate ganache. “Not bad for someone who has repeatedly been accused of not even being capable of replicating a decent glass of water.” 

B’Elanna chuckled before she tasted the cake. “It’s good.” She shook her head. “You know what I think?” She grinned. “I think you’ve been underselling your cooking skills because you were afraid you’d be stuck behind a replicator all day.” She huffed playfully, while pointing her fork at the other woman. “Your lazy days are over, you hear? Fifty-fifty, from tomorrow on!” 

Kathryn was laughing wholeheartedly. “You got me.” She grinned. Then she exhaled and sobered up as reality came crashing down on her. “But you’re right… I have plenty of time to cook now.” 

B’Elanna bit her lip and placed her hand on the other woman’s knee to comfort her. “We can have a good life here.” She stated softly. 

Kathryn nodded, but B’Elanna wasn’t sure who she was trying to convince. 

Even though Kathryn tried her best to smile, the happy atmosphere of only minutes before had disappeared. Abruptly, she shook her head, placed her plate on the side table and got up. “Excuse me.” She mumbled before going outside. 

B’Elanna exhaled and followed her into the cold evening air. 

Kathryn stood with her back to the shelter staring into the pitch black forest.  
She didn’t say anything when B’Elanna approached. She didn’t even turn around.

The half-Klingon said nothing either, just gently grabbed the other woman by the arm and enveloped her in a warm hug. 

Kathryn was a bit surprised by the gesture as B’Elanna had always maintained a respectful personal distance, but the comforting arms were exactly what she needed and she leaned into the embrace, exhaling shakily. 

“We will have to spend the rest of our lives on this planet…” Kathryn whispered frailly. “That’s a long time…” 

B’Elanna lightly stroked the other woman’s hair. “We’ll manage.” She replied softly. “We have so far.”  
She disentangled from the other woman and pointed into the dark sky. “We’ll hike to that ledge tomorrow. I promise you the view from up there is spectacular.” 

Kathryn nodded, suddenly shivering in the chilly night air without the other woman’s warm arms wrapped around her. 

B’Elanna smiled and held out her hand. “But first, let’s get inside and finish that cake.”

With a nod, Kathryn grabbed her hand and lightly squeezed it, before following the other woman inside the warm shelter.

~

“We’re almost there.” B’Elanna panted, helping her companion over a rock formation. 

Kathryn was breathing hard. “Good.” She looked back over her shoulder. “It feels like we should be almost in the stratosphere with all the climbing we’ve been doing.” 

B’Elanna grinned as she grabbed a tree for support. “It’ll be worth it, trust me.” 

“It’d better be.” Kathryn grumbled, so intent on watching her footing she bumped into the other woman in front of her. “What…?” She started, but then the view in front of her rendered her speechless. 

They were on a rocky ledge that ended abruptly a few meters in front of them. The forest behind them had hidden the most spectacular view of faraway mountains so high that their tops were snow-covered. A deep blue river meandered in the valley, seamed by fields of brightly colored flowers. 

“Told ya.” B’Elanna smirked and Kathryn sighed in awe. 

“You’ve been up here before?” She asked.

B’Elanna shook her head. “Not this high.” She admitted, stepping closer to the edge. “There.” She pointed to a smaller ledge below. “I just figured the view had to be even better from up here.” 

“It is.” Kathryn breathed. “I never imagined…”  
She looked around silently, drinking in the beauty of her surroundings. B’Elanna stood next to her, equally enjoying the vista and on a whim Kathryn grabbed her hand. She suddenly felt a closeness to the other woman. They were connected. They were the only ones who’d ever seen this scenery, the only ones on the planet. They might as well have been the only ones in the universe. 

B’Elanna just looked at her companion and smiled, then raised their entwined hands in the air, in a victorious gesture. 

Kathryn looked at the other woman and felt giddy. They did it. They’d climbed the mountain. They had each other, they had survived so far and they would continue to do so for a lot longer. 

~

“It really is a wonderful view.” Kathryn sighed as she looked back a last time. 

They’d spent a couple of hours on the ledge, picnicking and relaxing. Now they were packed and ready to go back to the shelter. 

“I’ll bet the sunset from up here is spectacular.” She added when B’Elanna helped her over a rock formation. 

B’Elanna cocked her head. “But the trip back is probably less fun in the dark.” She gestured to their surroundings. “Unless you want to camp up here?” 

Kathryn laughed. “When I was young, my parents used to take us on camping trips every summer. They thought we should all keep a connection to our pioneer roots. No bed, no bath tub, no replicator…”

“I bet you loved that.” B’Elanna grinned. 

Kathryn snorted. “I hated it.” She shrugged. “I guess I always was a child of the twenty fourth century.” 

“Well, maybe those camping trips helped prepare you for life here.” B’Elanna offered. 

“Oh no.” Kathryn replied truthfully. “Life here is much better than that.” 

B’Elanna stopped and turned around, eyeing the other woman. “I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you say something positive about being here.” 

But Kathryn didn’t reply. Instead she was staring at the sky with a frightened look on her face. B’Elanna followed her gaze and her eyes widened. 

Dark, ominous looking clouds were gathering above their heads. They very much resembled the ones that had preceded the plasma storm of the previous day. 

“Not again…” B’Elanna breathed, feeling the panic rise in her chest. She grabbed the other woman’s hand. “Come on. We have to find a shelter of some kind.” 

Kathryn was grabbing her tricorder. “Hold on.” She spoke as she was being dragged along. “I don’t think this is a plasma storm.” 

As if to prove her point, a flash of lightning brightened up the sky, followed by the rumbling of thunder. The relief on their faces quickly receded however, when thick drops of water started falling from the sky, turning into something resembling a monsoon very fast. 

Within seconds, both women were soaked to the bone. 

Kathryn consulted her tricorder again. “It looks like it will let up soon, but I can’t tell how long it will take.” She almost had to shout in order to be heard over the noise of the downpour. 

“We should still try to find some shelter.” B’Elanna replied, looking around. “There.” She pointed to a slightly overhanging rock formation.

They reached the spot without difficulty. It didn’t provide much shelter, but at least it was something.

All they had to do now, was wait. Kathryn rubbed the excess water off her face and looked at her companion. She snorted, suddenly realizing that the way B’Elanna’s hair was plastered to her skull was actually quite comical. 

B’Elanna eyed her quizzically. 

“You look like a drowned cat.” Kathryn offered matter-of-factly. 

B’Elanna threw her an indignant look back. “Taken a look at yourself lately?” 

They eyed each other for a moment, and then both started laughing at the same time, realizing how ridiculous they looked. 

“I guess I am having a bad hair day.” B’Elanna commented dryly, causing Kathryn to laugh even harder. 

It suddenly struck the half-Klingon how different her Captain looked standing here laughing in the rain as opposed to her businesslike demeanor on Voyager’s bridge.  
“It’s nice to see you laugh.” B’Elanna commented without thinking. “You didn’t do that enough on Voyager.” 

Kathryn eyed her surprised, then smiled timidly. “I suppose I didn’t…” She replied truthfully then she shrugged. “A lot of things are different here.” 

B’Elanna nodded. “It’s weird…” She spoke. “Sometimes I miss it… and then I don’t.” 

Kathryn nodded noncommittally, then grabbed her tricorder and pointed it at the sky. “Looks like it’s letting up a little.” 

B’Elanna suddenly shivered and rubbed her arms to chase away the cold that was settling over them. “We should get back to the shelter and get out of these wet clothes before we catch pneumonia.” 

In the light rain, they got underway again. The ground was now muddy and slippery due to the vast amounts of water that had fallen from the sky only moments before. 

Kathryn sniffed the fragrant air of humid wood and soil. “I love that smell.” She commented. “So rich and powerful.” She grinned. “It reminds me of the time I walked home during a thunderstorm. I’d lost a tennis match –I was only twelve at the time- and I was so angry and disappointed with my performance I just decided to walk home instead of take the shuttle. Of course it started to rain -a thunderstorm much like this one- and I remember realizing how small I was compared to the forces of nature. And how insignificant my problems were.” She grinned. “Of course when I got home, I was soaked to the bone and my parents were angry and worried, but I didn’t care. I felt like I learned something in that thunderstorm.” 

“You know what I learned?” B’Elanna spoke, getting annoyed with walking around in wet clothes. “I learned that I need to fix the sensor array of the weather station tomorrow so we don’t get caught unaware like this anymore.” 

Kathryn grinned, then she frowned. “I was thinking…” She started. “Do you think that we could get the data that the sensor array collected before it was destroyed by the storm?” 

B’Elanna shrugged. “I don’t see why not. The data processor wasn’t damaged. I’ll look into it tomorrow.”

“Good.” Kathryn replied. “I’d like to study the information it collected and maybe find something responsible for the occurrence of the plasma storm. Maybe it could give us a warning sign next time…” 

“It’s worth a shot.” B’Elanna agreed.  
She half turned her head to say more which caused her to misstep. It was impossible for her to find her footing on the slippery muddy ground and she tumbled down the mountainside, trying to grab a hold of something as she slid through the mud, until a shrubbery halted her descent. 

“B’Elanna!” Kathryn yelled, horrified at seeing the other woman tumbling down the hill.  
As fast as she could, she made her way down, careful not to slip and meet the same fate.

The half-Klingon groaned and sat up, stretching her limbs to check if everything was still intact. “I’m okay.” She grumbled as Kathryn reached her.

“You’re bleeding.” Kathryn corrected her.

Although B’Elanna was mostly covered in mud, a bleeding gash was clearly visible on her left cheek. It didn’t look too deep, but as face wounds usually do, it bled profusely.

Kathryn ripped a piece of her relatively clean, rain-soaked blouse and held it out to the other woman so she could press it against the wound to stop the bleeding. “Here.” 

“Thanks.” B’Elanna mumbled, getting up. She winced slightly, already feeling some nasty bruises form. 

“You okay?” Kathryn asked worriedly. 

The half-Klingon nodded. “Yeah. Let’s just go home.” 

They continued their walk back in silence, with Kathryn casting worried looks to the other woman as they moved along.

~

They reached the shelter without further problems and B’Elanna took off her muddy shirt as soon as she got inside. The damp fabric clinging to her skin had lowered her body temperature and her Klingon genes were no fan of the chill that had set over her. She threw the shirt into the recycle unit when Kathryn grabbed her arm.

“Sit down first, let me take a look at that gash.” She ordered the half-Klingon. She had already grabbed a medkit from one of the cupboards and placed it onto the table next to them.

“I’m cold and muddy.” B’Elanna answered. “I need a sonic shower and some hot soup.”  
Kathryn clacked her tongue. “What you need,” she replied, “is for me to take a look at that bleeding gash before it gets infected.” 

Too tired to protest any further, B’Elanna sat down on the proffered chair and obediently tilted her head so Kathryn could see her wound better.  
Carefully Kathryn took off the wet cloth she was still pressing against her cheek. B’Elanna hissed slightly as the pressure was removed. 

Kathryn opened the medkit to retrieve an antiseptic and a dermal regenerator. But first she took the wet cloth to carefully wipe away the dirt and mud around the wound. 

She bent over the other woman and worked as gently as she could, noticing how B’Elanna winced now and again.  
“Are you alright?” She asked softly.

“Yes.” B’Elanna whispered and Kathryn could feel her warm breath on her hands. 

When most of the dirt was wiped away, Kathryn grabbed the antiseptic. “This will sting…” She warned. 

“I know.” B’Elanna replied through clenched teeth, but she hissed anyway as the liquid made contact with her flesh. 

“Sorry.” Kathryn winced and bent further to take a closer look at the gash. “Looks like a clean cut.” She spoke. “I don’t think it’ll leave a scar.” 

B’Elanna shrugged lightly. “I don’t really care if it does.” 

“Well I do.” Kathryn replied gently and grabbed the dermal regenerator to heal the tissue. She took her time applying the instrument to grow the skin incrementally so the scarring would be minimal.

After a while, she put the dermal regenerator down and grabbed B’Elanna’s face, leaning closer to study the tissue.  
“There.” She spoke softly. “Good as new.”

“Thanks.” B’Elanna replied equally soft. 

Kathryn’s hands remained on the other woman’s face as she lightly kept caressing the newly formed tissue on B’Elanna’s cheek and lip with her thumb. The soft skin was supple underneath her fingertips and so close to her she could see its texture in detail. 

Without thinking, Kathryn traced B’Elanna’s lower lip and looked up in the other woman’s eyes. 

B’Elanna stared back, not sure what was happening, while slightly pursing her lips against the pad of Kathryn’s thumb, as if to place a ghost of a kiss on it. 

Kathryn’s hands froze as if she suddenly realized what she was doing and she retracted them, putting them in front of her chest as if to keep them from escaping again.  
She took a step back while at the same time B’Elanna rose a little from her chair with a questioning look on her face. 

“Uhm,” Kathryn stammered, smiling nervously, “I guess you better take that sonic shower now.” She indicated B’Elanna’s mud-covered body. 

B’Elanna stood silent for a moment, trying to figure out what had just transpired between them. But whatever the answer to that, it was clear that Kathryn wasn’t willing to address it at the moment.  
With a slight frown she nodded. “I guess you’re right.” 

Kathryn cocked her head. “Well,” she spoke indicating her bedroom, “I also better put on some dry clothes.”  
Without waiting for the other woman’s response, she moved to her bedroom and disappeared into her private space. 

Still frowning, B’Elanna watched her go and her hand involuntarily moved up with one finger ghosting over her lips in an echo of Kathryn’s earlier touch. Then she shook her head and entered the bathroom to take a shower. 

~

B’Elanna exited the bathroom in clean clothes. All traces of mud had been removed from her body by way of gentle sonic vibrations. 

Kathryn was standing by the replicator, also in dry attire. Her hair was still slightly damp from the rain. She turned as she heard B’Elanna.  
“Would you also like some soup?” 

B’Elanna nodded, moving to the table to sit down.  
During her shower she had thought of Kathryn and the way their relationship had transformed from Captain and Lieutenant into an easy camaraderie in the time they had been on New Earth. She wondered if now it would transform into something more. 

As she watched Kathryn’s back she knew for a fact that she was attracted to the other woman and that she had been for a while. Yet it wasn’t entirely clear for her how Kathryn regarded her. Up until now, B’Elanna would’ve thought she regarded her as nothing more than a friend. But after she’d seen the look in the other woman’s eyes right before she’d shied away, B’Elanna wasn’t so sure that that was all she was to Kathryn. She wasn’t about to press the issue, however. Clearly Kathryn had to figure some things out first. And they had time… Lots of time.

At the replicator, Kathryn turned around holding two bowls of soup. She appeared rather reserved as she approached the table, as if she wasn’t sure how to behave but trying very hard not to show it. 

B’Elanna decided to put her out of her misery. “I’m going to repair the sensor array of the weather station tomorrow.” She started. “I’ll see if I can get you the data from before the plasma storm.” 

Kathryn visibly relaxed as B’Elanna chose a neutral conversation topic. She nodded enthusiastically. “Great. I hope I can what caused it and possible find some kind of warning sign as well.” 

“You could maybe try to correlate it with the data from the small satellite in orbit.” B’Elanna added. “Who knows what causes these kinds of plasma storms.” 

They debated a bit more about the possible origin of plasma storms and after a while Kathryn started yawning. Kathryn went to bed and a while later B’Elanna also traded the sofa in the living room for the relative comfort of her own bed. 

~

The next morning Kathryn woke up later than usual. Their hike of the previous day had left her more tired than she’d realized. After she’d gotten dressed, she exited her bedroom and found the shelter empty. Clearly B’Elanna had already left to repair the weather system. 

Kathryn got a cup of coffee from the replicator and took a moment to enjoy the first sip.  
She took the cup with her as she went outside to see if B’Elanna needed any help. 

As Kathryn approached the site of the sensor from a distance she could hear something. At first she thought B’Elanna was just speaking to herself, but as she got closer she realized the other woman was singing. With a surprised smile on her face she moved more quietly as not to disturb the half-Klingon. 

Kathryn halted at the edge of the clearing where the sensor array was located. From the tree-line she could see B’Elanna sitting on the grass, parts and pieces of the sensor array laying scattered all around her. Kathryn didn’t recognize the song she was singing. As she listened closer she realized she couldn’t even make out the words because it was definitely in another language. It wasn’t Klingon, it was too soft and melodious for that. Bajoran maybe. Kathryn took a minute to study this side of the other woman, unknown to her.

As B’Elanna looked around, searching for a specific part, her eyes fell on the Captain standing a few meters away. She abruptly stopped singing. 

“Don’t stop on my account.” Kathryn spoke as she approached the half-Klingon. “That was lovely. Bajoran?” 

B’Elanna nodded, still a bit self-conscious. “I learned it from a Vedek who joined the Maquis.” 

“I didn’t think Vedeks could join political movements, or anti-political movements for that matter.” Kathryn spoke.

B’Elanna shrugged. “When he joined he wasn’t officially a Vedek anymore. He renounced the title when the Vedek Assembly endorsed the peace treaty with Cardassia.” She smiled at the memory of the man. “But he always remained a man of the prophets. Like this song he used to sing – a request to the prophets for good health and wellbeing.” B’Elanna grinned at Kathryn’s questioning look. “I just always liked the melody.” She looked around. “Sometimes being here, on this planet, reminds me of my time in the Maquis.” She added softly. 

Kathryn sat down on a nearby rock. “What was that like?” She asked, taking another sip of her coffee. 

B’Elanna pursed her lips as she thought back to that time. “It was hard. Living the life of a rebel isn’t all it’s cracked up to be sometimes. But it had its perks. And it was rewarding to know that all we endured was for a cause we believed in. We were helping to save the universe from the Cardassian scourge.” She shrugged. “But that’s not my fight anymore.” 

Kathryn nodded pensively.  
“How’s the sensor array?” She asked after a moment of silence. 

“I can fix it.” The half-Klingon replied matter-of-factly. 

“Need a hand?” Kathryn asked.

B’Elanna shook her head. “Not really.” She spoke, grabbing the part she’d been looking for. 

Kathryn got up from the rock and watched her for a moment. “Well, I’m going back to the shelter then.” 

B’Elanna nodded. “I’ll get you that sensor data when I’m done with this.” She added at Kathryn’s receding back. 

“Thanks!” Kathryn replied over her shoulder and disappeared between the trees.

~

“Here you go.” B’Elanna handed a PADD to the other woman who was sitting at the desk. “I downloaded all the sensor information on this.” 

“Great.” Kathryn beamed as she started transferring it to her terminal while B’Elanna headed to the replicator to get two optronic relays she needed for the repairs of the sensor array. “I already got the data from the satellite and guess what: it showed that a solar flare occurred only minutes before the plasma storm started. Look.” 

She indicated the data on the monitor as B’Elanna approached and stood behind her. The half-Klingon leaned forward to look at the screen, placing one hand on Kathryn’s shoulder. “Can you bring up the data from the sensor array?” 

B’Elanna’s close proximity reminded Kathryn of their similar moment of the previous day and she felt her heart rate pick up a notch. 

Well aware of her closeness to the other woman, B’Elanna glanced sideways and noticed Kathryn’s confused look.  
“The data?” She prompted gently. 

Kathryn smiled nervously and added the requested data to the screen. 

B’Elanna leaned even closer to study the screen. Her head was now positioned right next to Kathryn’s and she squeezed Kathryn’s shoulder lightly while she pointed at the screen with her other hand.  
“Look, there was also an increase of muons in the planet’s stratosphere at that time.” She spoke. She was so close she was breathing in Kathryn’s scent. “This could explain why…” 

Her voice faded and Kathryn turned her head to look at the half-Klingon, their faces now only a few centimeters apart.  
They stared at each other and Kathryn leaned closer to the other woman, until it hit her what she was about to do. Then she veered back and got up, using the chair as a protective barrier between them. 

B’Elanna frowned as she watched the other woman nervously fidget.

“We have to talk about this.” Kathryn spoke, uncharacteristically uncomfortable.

“All right…” B’Elanna replied softly, sensing what was coming, but willing to at least hear the other woman out. 

“I think we need to define some parameters… about us.” She uttered.

B’Elanna’s eyebrows rose. “Parameters?” She echoed. “Seriously?” 

Kathryn cocked her head. “I don’t want to rush into something and end up regretting it later.” She spoke softly.

B’Elanna huffed. “So you’d rather end up regretting what you didn’t do instead?” 

“I didn’t say that…” Kathryn replied quietly, then paused for a second as B’Elanna waited for her to explain. “Something is happening here.” Kathryn started, waving her hand back and forth in the space between them. “And I guess I’m a little afraid of it, given our circumstances.” She frowned as she tried to order her thoughts. “We’re alone on this planet, and we will be for the rest of our lives.” She elaborated. “Whatever happens, we only have each other, and we have to live together for a long time.” She sighed. “I guess I’m afraid that doing anything impulsive might jeopardize what we have built here.”

Although she wanted nothing more than to kiss the other woman, B’Elanna nodded slowly, realizing that there was some truth in what Kathryn was saying.  
“I understand.” She spoke, moving the chair out of the way so she could approach her. “And I agree.” She felt Kathryn exhale, relieved that they were on the same page. 

B’Elanna gently tucked a strand of hair behind Kathryn’s ear and saw the other woman’s eyes widen. “I care about you.” She stated softly, the depth of her emotions clearly visible as she looked the other woman in the eye. “And I think you’re right that it would be wise not to rush into this.” 

“I care about you too.” Kathryn whispered honestly. 

B’Elanna smiled. “That said,” she added, “I would like for us to explore this further – without rushing.” With that leaned closer to softly press her lips against the other woman’s in a chaste kiss. 

As she leaned back, Kathryn subconsciously licked her lips and slightly swayed closer again as if she wanted more of the same.

B’Elanna grinned, maintaining a safe distance. “And they say Klingon’s don’t have any self-control.” 

Kathryn smiled shyly from underneath her eyelashes. 

B’Elanna exhaled. “You had good reasons for taking it slow, remember?” She murmured, reminding the other woman that she was stopping for a reason. B’Elanna knew herself well enough that once she got going, there was no turning back. 

Kathryn nodded. “Right…” 

Grabbing the optronic relays from the table, B’Elanna bit her lip. “I guess I better finish those repairs before it gets dark.”

Kathryn smiled. “I’ll have dinner ready when you come back.” 

B’Elanna grinned. “Spoken like a true housewife.”  
At Kathryn’s menacing look, she shook her head and waved as she exited the shelter.

~

It was already dark when B’Elanna got back. Tired, she sighed and sank down on the couch to take off her boots. 

“Finished?” Kathryn asked from the other side of the room.

B’Elanna nodded and stretched her body, raising her arms in the air so high her joints almost popped. “Yeah. I even made a link with the satellite in orbit to integrate all the atmospheric data.” 

“Good idea.” Kathryn smiled. “You deserve a home-replicated meal for that.” 

“Really, you’re too good to me.” B’Elanna replied with a grin. She got up from the couch and approached the table. “What’s for dinner?” 

Triumphantly, Kathryn turned from the replicator, holding a large dish. “Lasagna.” She smiled, placing the dish on the table next to the plates. 

Impressed, B’Elanna pursed her lips. “Looks good. Smells good too.” She spoke, but she wasn’t looking at the lasagna. She had her eyes firmly fixed on the other woman, grinning wolfishly. “And I bet it tastes even better…” She added in a lower voice, figuring they hadn’t set any rules about flirting.

Kathryn pursed her lips and canted her head, feeling flattered but determined to keep her distance.  
She gestured at the table. “Let’s eat, shall we?”

“Wait.” B’Elanna spoke. 

Kathryn felt her stomach flutter as the half-Klingon approached and she held her breath, wondering how far the other woman would take her little game. But B’Elanna moved past her to the replicator and Kathryn felt a flash of disappointment as the other woman ordered a bottle of red wine and two glasses. 

B’Elanna put the wine on the table and sat down. “Now we can eat.” 

Kathryn exhaled and sat down as well, reminding herself that she had been the one asking B’Elanna to take things slow. B’Elanna wouldn’t cross that line until Kathryn indicated that she could. 

“What are your plans for tomorrow?” She asked the half-Klingon in an effort to direct her attention to something else. 

B’Elanna swallowed before answering. “Maintenance on the power station.” She spoke, taking another bite. “Good lasagna by the way.” 

Kathryn smiled at the compliment and continued on the topic of the power station. “Need a hand with that?” 

B’Elanna shook her head. “No, not really. I just noticed yesterday that the power output has gradually dropped over the last couple of days, so this means that the convertor needs a thorough cleaning. It’s menial labor.”

Kathryn grinned. “In that case I’ll stick to my original plan and tend to the tomatoes.” 

B’Elanna’s eyebrows rose slightly as she canted her head, appraising the other woman, still surprised by the eagerness with which Kathryn had taken over the care of their little garden. “You know,” she spoke slowly, “I never would have thought of you as a gardener.” 

Kathryn shrugged. “I grew up around farmers. My parents insisted we learn some basic gardening skills.”

“Did you hate that as much as camping?” B’Elanna asked with a grin.

“Of course.” Kathryn chuckled. “Who wanted to muck around in the dirt when you could be studying quantum mechanics?” Her face softened somewhat as she continued. “But I find it very satisfying now, watching the seeds sprout and grow.” She paused a second. “I’m glad I have discovered this side of me here.”

Kathryn took a sip of wine and watched B’Elanna help herself to a second portion of lasagna.  
“I have a feeling there are a lot of things here that I would never have discovered on Voyager.” She ventured softly, fixing her eyes on B’Elanna. 

The half-Klingon put down her fork and reached out to grab Kathryn’s hand over the table. “In that case,” she spoke softly, “I’m glad we’re not on Voyager.” 

Kathryn exhaled. “Me too.” She whispered, surprised how true the words were. 

B’Elanna’s eyebrows rose. “I never thought I’d hear you say that.” 

With a shrug, Kathryn took another sip of wine. “There are things I miss but being stranded here with you has its perks too.” 

“That has got to be the nicest thing anyone ever said to me.” B’Elanna grinned. 

Kathryn rolled her eyes good-naturedly and retracted her hand to take the bottle of wine and refill their glasses. 

They both remained silent for a moment, finishing their meal. 

With her glass in her hand, B’Elanna leaned back in her chair.  
“You know,” she spoke softly, “in our first months in the Delta Quadrant I was sure I would never be able to fit in on a Starfleet vessel.” She bit her lip. “And now I find I even miss it sometimes.” 

“You made a great Chief Engineer, B’Elanna.” Kathryn offered. “I admit I was skeptical at first, but you were a wonderful revelation.” She smiled. “You still are…”

B’Elanna bit her lip. “I guess you bring out the best in me.” She replied shyly. 

Kathryn eyed the other woman affectionately for a moment. Then she placed both hands on the table and got up, collecting the dishes to recycle them.  
She turned back to B’Elanna. “Would you care for a game of Durotta?” 

B’Elanna smiled. “Sure.”  
That particular board game was a little too subtle for her likings, but Kathryn seemed to enjoy playing it and B’Elanna was not yet willing to let the evening come to an end. 

They played a couple of games in amicable closeness, with B’Elanna even winning a couple of games, before they both retreated to their own beds late in the evening. 

~

The next day, Kathryn had spent most of the morning in the garden, tending to the tomatoes. With a satisfied sigh, she sat back, surveying the growing vegetables. The carrots and eggplants were almost fully grown and she’d also be able to harvest some beans soon. To her delight, the radish seeds she’d planted were also developing nicely. 

Absentmindedly, Kathryn rubbed her hands over her legs and only then noticed how her clothes were covered with muddy streaks of soil. 

Taking a look at her dirty hands, Kathryn decided she’d better wash up before doing anything else. Since B’Elanna was still busy working at the power station, Kathryn wasn’t in a hurry and she reasoned that there was plenty of time for her to go to the thermal spring and take a nice long bath. 

Inside the shelter she quickly rinsed most of the dirt off her hands and after quickly grabbing fresh clothes, a towel, soap, shampoo and a washcloth, Kathryn made her way to the hot water pool. The sun was shining down on her and she reveled in its warmth. 

Kathryn put down her stuff next to the bathing area and started to undress. After years of being inside a starship it still felt a bit strange to her to undress in the midst of nature. Her unease was soon forgotten however when she slipped into the hot water of the pool. 

A long throaty sigh escaped her when she leaned back in the water. She reached up to undo her hairclip and tossed it in the general direction of her clothes before submerging her head. She could feel the warmth of the water on her scalp while her hair floated weightlessly around her. 

She reemerged and grabbed the bottle of shampoo to wash her long auburn locks. She took her time washing her hair and afterwards she submerged her head again a couple of times, effectively rinsing it. 

Sitting back up, Kathryn wiped the excess water from her face and sighed. Then she leaned against the backrest and closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling of the pleasantly warm water all around her. 

Suddenly, she heard a rustling sound and her eyes flew open while she sat up.  
“B’Elanna?” She called out, feeling a flutter in her stomach at the thought of the Engineer approaching her while she was naked in the pool. 

But there was no answer. Instead, the rustling continued and a few seconds later the monkey she’d seen before on several occasions came out of the bushes. 

Kathryn’s face broke into a smile. “Hi there little fella.” She cooed. “Sorry, this pool is occupied.” 

Ignoring her completely, the little monkey jumped closer until it reached the rocks on which Kathryn had haphazardly thrown her dirty clothes. He started rummaging through them and Kathryn rose a bit from the water in an effort to shoo him away. 

“Those are mine, you hear?” She grinned. 

The monkey cocked his head as if considering what she was saying. Then he dropped the clothes and moved to the next rock on which Kathryn’s freshly replicated button-down dress and underwear were lying. The monkey’s hand paused right above Kathryn’s neatly folded panties. 

Kathryn’s eyes widened. “Don’t touch those.” She warned him slowly.

But the monkey blatantly disregarded her and grabbed the panties before jumping onto the branch of a nearby tree, waving his trophy at her. 

“Hey!” Kathryn shouted. “Drop ‘em!” 

The monkey screeched and disappeared into the woods. 

“You little shit…” Kathryn mumbled, not knowing whether to be shocked or amused. Then she sighed and shrugged. So the monkey got her panties… She could easily replicate a new pair at the shelter.  
She reached out for the washcloth and the soap and efficiently started lathering up. 

A short time later she rose out of the water and grabbed the large towel to dry her body before putting on her clothes, minus panties. 

Muttering at the monkey –who’d long since disappeared out of sight- Kathryn walked back to the shelter. When she approached, she could smell B’Elanna was roasting something. 

Sure enough, when she emerged from the woods, she noticed the half-Klingon was sitting outside, slowly rotating a rabbit on a spit above a campfire. 

“You caught another one?” Kathryn smiled enthusiastically. 

“Sure did.” B’Elanna nodded. “And it’s almost ready. Come, sit down.” She indicated the picnic plaid she’d draped onto the grass. 

“Let me put my things inside first.” Kathryn replied, keeping her face as straight as she could muster while adding mentally ‘and put on some underwear’.

When she reemerged, B’Elanna had already divided the meat and was serving the replicated vegetables. 

“How long before we have fresh tomatoes?” B’Elanna asked as Kathryn came outside and sat down next to her.

“They need to ripen just a little more.” Kathryn replied, already licking her lips at the food in front of her. “I promise, next time you catch a rabbit, I’ll get you a true homemade meal.” She grinned.

“I’m keeping you to that.” B’Elanna warned, waving her finger. “I know your lack of cooking skills is legendary, but I’m assuming you can chop vegetables without creating any kind of natural disaster?” 

Kathryn grinned good-naturedly. “We’ll see…” 

B’Elanna eyed her dubiously, about to mutter some comment when her attention was drawn to the trees behind the other woman.  
“You’re little friend is back.” She nodded in the direction of the monkey that had just appeared. 

Then she frowned. “Are those… panties around his neck?”  
The half-Klingon turned to Kathryn and noticed how a light blush was creeping up the other woman’s cheeks. 

“Yours?” B’Elanna grinned. “How did that happen?” 

Kathryn rolled her eyes. “That little pervert stole them while I was bathing just now.” She clarified mildly embarrassed. 

B’Elanna laughed heartily. “Well,” she addressed the monkey, “you’re a little daredevil aren’t you? Steeling the panties of the great Captain Janeway… People have been thrown out an airlock for less!” 

Kathryn swatted the other woman on the shoulder before extending her hand to the monkey. “Why don’t you give those back, hmm?” 

The monkey only screeched in response and B’Elanna shook her head. “He won’t do that. He’s probably the hero of monkeytown with those around his neck.” 

Kathryn sighed as the monkey disappeared again in the woods, screeching victoriously. “Well, seems like he’s getting away with it.” 

“Yeah.” B’Elanna nodded. “I can’t believe he got into your panties before I did though.” She added with a teasing grin. 

“Tsk, B’Elanna.” Kathryn swatted the other woman on the shoulder again. 

But the half-Klingon’s grin just got wider. “What? I’m just sayin’…” She shrugged.

Kathryn smiled lightly. “That you’re jealous of a monkey?” 

B’Elanna locked eyes with the other woman and gazed at her intently. “Insanely jealous…” She whispered. 

Kathryn felt her stomach clench and she swallowed, maintaining eye contact.  
“Well, what are you going to do about it?” She whispered back, surprising even herself with those words. 

B’Elanna’s eyes widened for a second before she fluently got on her hands and knees to close the distance between them.  
She stopped with her face only centimeters away from Kathryn’s, searching the woman’s eyes for a sign that she wasn’t ready. But she found none and just as she started moving forward again she felt Kathryn impatiently grab her head to kiss her. 

The unexpected extra momentum caused them to topple over on the picnic blanket, with Kathryn lying on her back and B’Elanna sprawled on top of her. 

Enjoying the increased body contact, Kathryn moaned as B’Elanna kissed her hotly. Eagerly, she kissed the other woman back, letting her hands slide underneath the half-Klingon’s tank top and relishing the feeling of B’Elanna’s smooth skin. 

Wanting the fabric out of the way, Kathryn grabbed a fistful of the top and yanked at it. B’Elanna got the hint and pushed herself up, leaning back to take off the piece of clothing. 

Breathing hard from their kissing, Kathryn maneuvered herself into a sitting position as she watched B’Elanna’s flesh being revealed to her. Tentatively, she reached out and traced the edge of the other woman’s bra.

Kathryn’s long hair was loose and B’Elanna gave into the desire to run her fingers through it.  
“You’re beautiful.” She murmured. 

Kathryn directed her gaze upward to look at the other woman. As she opened her mouth to reply, B’Elanna leaned forward and kissed her again, this time slowly and intimately, and it made Kathryn’s toes curl.

Reaching behind her own back, B’Elanna undid the clasp of her bra and let the straps fall off her shoulders. Kathryn bowed her head to watch the bra get taken off while B’Elanna lightly kissed her forehead.

Then she nuzzled against the other woman’s hair, sliding her lips down to her lover’s neck, while gently guiding them both to lie down again. Briefly, the half-Klingon hovered over the other woman before starting to unbutton Kathryn’s button-down dress at the neck. 

Her Klingon impatience rose at the sight of the amount of buttons, but Kathryn’s hands slid up to help. When the buttons were undone all the way down to her waist, Kathryn wriggled out of the top half of the dress, while B’Elanna deftly took care of the remaining buttons. The garment was discarded carelessly and in a swift and practiced move, Kathryn’s bra followed suit.

Hovering over the other woman, B’Elanna bent down to kiss her mouth hotly, then repositioned to repeat the kiss on Kathryn’s neck and felt a shudder go through the body beneath her in response. She kissed Kathryn’s collarbone and nuzzled further down, pausing above a nipple. 

Kathryn held her breath in anticipation, but B’Elanna teased her by waiting until the other woman couldn’t stand it anymore and forcefully yanked down her head. B’Elanna eagerly lavished the breast with attention and Kathryn moaned loudly in response. 

When B’Elanna moved to kiss her belly, Kathryn lifted her upper body and leaned on her elbows. She watched in nervous anticipation as B’Elanna kissed her way downward, teasingly slow, until she reached Kathryn’s panties. 

“Take them off.” Kathryn whispered hoarsely, the excitement almost making her unable to properly form the words. 

Wasting no time, B’Elanna complied and Kathryn watched as the half-Klingon gently caressed her legs and leaned down, maintaining eye-contact as her tongue touched Kathryn’s sensitive flesh.

A guttural groan escaped Kathryn’s lips and her head fell backward as wonderful sensations she hadn’t felt in ages coursed through her body. Of their own volition, her hips started undulating and she willed herself to watch as the other woman pleasured her, fulfilling her in a way she could hardly remember ever experiencing. 

When her flesh got too tender to withstand the skilful ministrations, she reached out and B’Elanna crawled up until they were eye to eye again. 

Kathryn took her lover’s head in her hands and caressed her cheeks with her thumbs. Then B’Elanna leaned down to kiss her and Kathryn could taste herself on the half-Klingon’s lips. Her hands roamed down the other woman’s back, into her shorts and panties and cupped her buttocks. 

With some wriggling, B’Elanna managed to slide out of the last pieces of clothing and eagerly pressed her hot searing flesh against Kathryn’s raised knee. With a firm hold on her hips, Kathryn helped the other woman achieve a rhythm. 

Breathing hard, B’Elanna buried her face in Kathryn’s neck while she moved. 

“Wait.” Kathryn whispered, and B’Elanna barely managed to raise her hips as Kathryn strategically repositioned her hand. 

With nimble fingers and more technique than B’Elanna had expected, Kathryn touched her and the half-Klingon could feel her blood thundering through her veins. Her body was moving by its own volition and in a last moment of conscious thought, B’Elanna touched the sensitive flesh of her lover before her own pleasure overwhelmed her. 

How much time had passed, B’Elanna had no idea, but she suddenly became aware of Kathryn’s fingers stroking her forehead.  
With a smile, B’Elanna reached out and mimicked the gesture, touching the other woman’s face. 

They gazed at each other without speaking, just enjoying the aftermath. B’Elanna ran her fingers through Kathryn’s auburn tresses and lightly let them trail further along her arm and back, over Kathryn’s hips and legs. Then she came back up and lightly trailed her fingers over her lover’s abdomen before moving down again. 

With a hiss, Kathryn grabbed her hand and removed it from her tender flesh.  
“How much more do you think I have in me?” She smiled with a raised eyebrow. 

B’Elanna bit her lip and winked. “I have to make sure you don’t run off with the monkey in the end.” 

Kathryn laughed throatily before kissing the other woman’s knuckles. Then she exhaled deeply. “This was my first time outdoors.” 

“Really?” B’Elanna grinned. Then she cocked her head. “But not your first time with a woman though…” She added.

Kathryn briefly closed her eyes and smiled. “My roommate at the Academy.” She chuckled. “We discovered it was a great way to relieve stress.” Kathryn looked up at the blue sky above her. “It works, right? I mean look at us: not a care in the world.”

B’Elanna lightly caressed Kathryn’s stomach. “I’m guessing you didn’t have anyone for stress-relief on Voyager…” She ventured.

Kathryn sighed. “No.” She replied softly. “There was Mark, waiting for me back on Earth…” She shrugged. “And even if it wasn’t for that, I was the Captain, any kind of personal relationship wouldn’t have been appropriate.” She grimaced. “I’ve not been with anyone since we got stranded in the Delta Quadrant.”

“Do you miss Mark?” B’Elanna asked quietly, thinking about what it would be like to have a fiancé thousands of lightyears away.

“I missed him terribly on Voyager.” Kathryn murmured. “I used to dream about him all the time.” She paused and turned her head to face the other woman. “But lately,” she smiled, “I have to say I’ve barely thought about him at all.” 

B’Elanna grinned. “Really?” 

“Mhmm.” Kathryn purred. “Lately, someone else has been on my mind. A lot.” 

“The monkey, right?” B’Elanna deadpanned. 

Kathryn sat up and pursed her lips. “The monkey…” she spoke slowly while bending over the other woman, “blew it when he stole my underwear.” Then she closed the rest of the distance and kissed B’Elanna hungrily.

~

The next morning B’Elanna woke up because her back felt cold. She was spooning Kathryn in her small single bed. But the duvet was too small to cover them both so her backside was exposed to the cold morning air. 

As she wiggled to get back under the covers, Kathryn stirred and mumbled something. 

B’Elanna lightly stroked her arm. “Good morning beautiful.” She murmured, lightly kissing Kathryn’s soft skin.

“Mmm.” Kathryn replied. She tried to turn around to face the other woman and almost kicked B’Elanna’s teeth out with her elbow in the process.  
“We’re going to need a bigger bed.” She stated.

“Agreed.” B’Elanna nodded, tugging at the covers. She squinted. “I can probably remove the wall between our bedrooms to create one big room. And I’ve been thinking, if I integrate the shuttle’s transport system with the replicator system, I could replicate larger things, like a bed, by using the transporter buffer as…” 

She was abruptly silenced as Kathryn kissed her hard.  
“Did anyone ever tell you you’re dead sexy when you talk shop?” She grinned at B’Elanna’s questioning look.

“Not really.” The half-Klingon drawled. “But do tell me more…”

Kathryn kissed her again, but more tenderly this time and B’Elanna responded in kind, pulling the other woman on top of her. 

“Mmm.” Kathryn murmured. “As much as I’d love to stay in bed with you all day, I think it’s probably a good idea to eat something first.” 

As if on cue, B’Elanna’s stomach rumbled as well and she grinned. “I guess you’re right.” 

Kathryn climbed out of bed and put on her robe before heading over to the replicator to order coffee. 

B’Elanna quickly jumped into a pair of shorts and a top and followed her lover into the living quarters, watching her as she performed her morning ritual of drinking her first cup of coffee. With a grin she circled her arms around Kathryn’s waist from behind and placed a small kiss in her neck.  
“You’re dead sexy when you drink coffee.” She murmured, nibbling on the other woman’s ear.

Kathryn moaned and with an effort pulled her head away. “Breakfast first.” 

B’Elanna exhaled and moved to the replicator. “Sit down, I’ll get us something.” She addressed her lover before ordering them something to eat and bringing it to the table. 

“Mmm.” Kathryn licked her lips before picking out a croissant. “I’m starving. You really wore me out.” She tucked a strand of her long hair behind her ear.

B’Elanna grinned wolfishly as Kathryn attacked the croissant. “Then I suggest you stock up, because the way you look right now makes me want to ravish you right here on the table.” 

Kathryn grinned. “You know, it might be a good idea to create a bigger bed first.” 

B’Elanna nodded. “Yeah, you might be right.” She frowned as her mind shifted to the idea she had before. “I’ll power up the shuttle and reprogram the transport buffer. Like I said before, I think I can set up a link with the replicator system. We should have enough energy reserves to replicate something that big.”

“Sounds good.” Kathryn replied.  
She tilted her head. “I’ve been thinking… You know what would be nice?”  
At B’Elanna’s shrug she continued. “We could take the shuttle and explore this planet. Like a vacation. I’m sure there are beautiful places here we could visit.”

A broad grin appeared on B’Elanna’s face. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve been on vacation.” She spoke, excitement lighting her eyes.

“I already looked at the scans we made of the planet.” Kathryn added, endeared by the other woman’s enthusiasm. “I found a few places that should be worthwhile.” She got up from her chair to get a second cup of coffee from the replicator.

B’Elanna leaned back in her chair. “Sounds great.” She smiled, already eager to start their adventure. “When do you think we could leave?” 

Kathryn chuckled. “I didn’t know there was such a hurry.” She took a sip of coffee, placed the mug on the table and lowered herself on B’Elanna’s lap. She took the other woman’s head in her hands and softly kissed her on the lips. “Let’s first make some kind of plan before we take off, hmm?” 

B’Elanna nodded lightly and recaptured her lover’s lips, pulling the other woman closer. 

Moaning, Kathryn willingly complied and sensually kissed the half-Klingon. Her half-twisted position on B’Elanna’s lap quickly became uncomfortable and she got up, pulling the other woman with her and pushing her against the table to resume their kissing. 

A few moments later a strange noise caught her attention and she drew back with a frown. “Do you hear that?” 

The noise became a bit louder and they both identified it as static.  
Both women’s eyes widened as the faint voice of Chakotay could be heard, still laced with static. “Do you read me? Repeat.” 

The sensual atmosphere of minutes earlier had completely vanished from the room as B’Elanna walked to the self on the other side of the cabin to get their combadges. Wordlessly, she held them in her hands and both women stared at them as if they were seeing a ghost when Chakotay’s voice sounded again, already becoming more clear through the static.

“… to Captain Janeway, do you read me? This is Commander Chakotay calling Captain Janeway. Please respond.” 

Slowly, as if the gesture was totally unfamiliar for her, Kathryn reached out to take her combadge out of B’Elanna’s hand and pressed it.  
“This is Janeway.” She spoke hoarsely.

“Captain, it’s good to hear your voice.” The relief was evident in Chakotay’s voice. “We have news.” 

B’Elanna held her breath as Kathryn’s eyebrows rose ever so slightly.  
“What is it?” Kathryn spoke, her voice still unsteady.

“We have medicine which we will believe will effectively treat your condition.” Chakotay elaborated as both women looked up at each other, equally stupefied.  
“We plan to be in orbit within thirty hours.” The Commander’s voice continued.

Kathryn swallowed to get rid of the lump in her throat. It took her a while to form the words.  
“We’ll be here.” She whispered.

“Acknowledged.” Came the reply. “Chakotay out.” 

The comline was closed and silence hung in the air as both women tried to grasp the implications of the news they’d just received. Voyager was on its way to get them. A day from now, they would be back on the ship, on their way to Earth.  
New Earth, where they’d thought they’d spend the rest of their lives, would become nothing but a distant memory.

“I guess we better start packing.” Kathryn spoke quietly after a few minutes. “They’ll be here tomorrow.” 

B’Elanna sighed. “Yeah.” She uttered, preoccupied. She had difficulty figuring out whether or not she was happy about the prospect of returning to Voyager. 

Kathryn recognized the other woman’s confusion and lightly squeezed B’Elanna’s shoulder in support. 

The half-Klingon looked up at her companion. “I’m going to miss our life here.” She whispered. 

Biting her lip, Kathryn nodded softly. “Me too.” 

B’Elanna stepped closer and circled her arms around the other woman, enveloping her in a hug. 

Kathryn held the other woman close for a long while and then stepped back.  
She took the combadges B’Elanna’s was still holding and pinned on of them on the other woman’s shirt before doing the same with her own.  
Then she took a deep breath as if trying to compose herself.  
“We should start packing, Lieutenant.” 

At the use of her formal title, B’Elanna frowned and an awful feeling of dread nestled in the pit of her stomach. In an effort to convince herself she was wrong, she raised her hand to touch her lover’s face. “Kathryn?” She spoke questioningly. 

B’Elanna’s heart sank as Kathryn turned away from her touch and briefly closed her eyes. 

“This changes everything, B’Elanna. I’m your Captain. You know it’s against protocol.” Kathryn spoke softly. 

“Fuck protocol!” B’Elanna spat, feeling like the world had just stopped turning. “I love you!” She added with a breaking voice.

A pained expression spread on Kathryn’s face. “I’m… sorry.” She whispered hoarsely. 

B’Elanna stared at her wide-eyed, unable to believe what was happening. Then she backed away, shaking her head and without words, she turned around and stormed out of the cabin. 

With a sigh, Kathryn watched her go. Then she sank onto a chair and buried her face in her hands, unsuccessfully trying to hold back her tears.

~

The sun was already low on the horizon when B’Elanna entered the shelter. She had spent all day alone, outside, working on powering down the power station, decoupling the weather station and generally removing as many of the things they had installed on the planet as possible. 

From the looks of the shelter, Kathryn had spent the day taking care of the things in and around their makeshift house. Most of their equipment and personal belongings were already stored in boxes. 

B’Elanna found Kathryn in a corner, packing up what was left of her DNA-sequencer.  
She paused expectantly as the half-Klingon entered. 

“Have you eaten yet?” B’Elanna asked noncommittally. 

Kathryn shook her head. “No.” She spoke softly.  
She’d kept busy most of the day, trying not to think of what she would be leaving behind. She hadn’t been very successful at the latter, and from the looks of it, neither had B’Elanna. 

The half-Klingon moved to the replicator. “Anything in particular you’re in the mood for?” She asked without looking at the other woman.

“Not really.” Kathryn shrugged. 

B’Elanna ordered two bowls of tomato soup and put them on the table. “You should eat something.” 

Kathryn cautiously moved to the table and sat down. “Thanks.” She spoke softly.

They both finished their soup in silence.

Afterwards B’Elanna made a move to get up, but then she seemed to reconsider and sat back down.  
“I need to know.” She spoke quietly. “When you said you cared for me, was it real or was it just because we got stranded here together?”

Kathryn swallowed and reached out to grab the other woman’s hand over the table. “It’s real B’Elanna. Don’t ever doubt that.” She pleadingly looked at the other woman, willing her to understand how true her words were. “I would happily spend the rest of my life here with you, but we’re both Starfleet Officers.” She paused and frowned. “I have a responsibility to the rest of the crew, to get them home.” She shook her head. “How can I ask them to trust me and to adhere to Starfleet rules if I can’t even follow the rules myself?” 

B’Elanna’s sighed. “I’m quite sure that Starfleet didn’t exactly have our unique situation in mind when they came up with the policy regarding fraternization.” 

“I’m your Captain, B’Elanna.” Kathryn spoke. “It wouldn’t be fair to you, me or the rest of the crew if we continued this relationship on Voyager.” 

Shaking her head, B’Elanna got up. “Ending it before it could really begin is clearly the better option for everyone.” She spoke sarcastically. 

“I have no choice.” Kathryn pleaded. “Please understand that.” 

B’Elanna shook her head. “There’s always a choice Kathryn.”  
With that she turned around and retreated into her own bedroom for the night.

~

The next morning, after a sleepless night of tossing and turning, Kathryn put on her uniform and found that, though it felt familiar, she also felt restrained by it. In front of the small mirror in her bedroom, she attached the four pips and her combadge and put her hair in a bun.  
She surveyed her appearance. Captain Janeway was back. Now if she could only feel as confident as she looked.

When she entered the shelter’s living quarters, she found B’Elanna dressed in her uniform as well, packing up the last of their things.  
She had already carried most of the boxes outside to the transport site. 

“Good morning.” Kathryn spoke.

B’Elanna nodded in response. “When you’re finished with breakfast I’ll shut down the replicator and pack it up.” She spoke businesslike, trying to avoid any personal contact. 

“Alright.” Kathryn replied and moved to the replicator to order a cup of coffee. She wasn’t hungry, so she decided to skip a more elaborate breakfast altogether. 

When she had recycled her cup, B’Elanna powered down the replicator and together, they finished packing and moving their things to the transport site. Aside from practicalities, B’Elanna made no attempt to talk to the other woman. Kathryn, from her side, didn’t know what to say, so they spent most of their time in silence.

They were placing the last containers at the transport site when Kathryn’s combadge chirped.

“Chakotay to Janeway.” 

Both women stood up and Kathryn took a deep breath before she replied. “Janeway here.” 

“Captain, we’re entering orbit.” The First Officer’s voice sounded.

Kathryn exhaled. “We just need a few minutes Chakotay.” 

“Understood.” Came the reply. “Let us know when you’re ready and we’ll beam you directly to Sickbay.” 

Both women stood a bit uncomfortable near the boxes, when suddenly a screech broke the silence and the monkey appeared from the trees.

Kathryn’s expression softened. “There you are.” She smiled as she extended her hand. “At least I get to say goodbye.” She bit her lip. “Feel free to use the house…” She tilted her head. “And don’t do anything nasty with my underwear.” 

The primate screeched and disappeared into the woods again. Kathryn turned back to face B’Elanna and noticed that the other woman was mouthing ‘goodbye’ in the direction the monkey had disappeared into. 

Their eyes met and Kathryn swallowed. “Are you okay?” She asked softly.

B’Elanna’s face clouded and she shrugged. “Are you?” 

Kathryn only briefly closed her eyes in response. 

B’Elanna swallowed and straightened her shoulders. “Everything is all packed and ready Captain.” She spoke formally.

Kathryn stared at the half-Klingon for a long moment before she nodded.  
“Janeway to Voyager. Two to beam up.”

~

Kathryn Janeway sat up on the biobed in Sickbay and rubbed her neck, noticing that B’Elanna was doing the same on the bed next to her. 

The Doctor approached them with a smile. “Captain, Lieutenant, it’s so good to have you back.” 

Both women had been transported immediately to Sickbay. Since they were no longer protected by the planet’s atmosphere after transport, time had been of the essence. In Sickbay, the Doctor had sedated them on arrival in order to administer the cure for their condition as efficiently as possible.  
By now, they had completely recovered.

“I’m pleased to announce your bodies are now able to counteract the virus.” The EMH smiled. “And your stay on the planet has had no negative effect on your health. Quite the opposite in fact: I’d say the fresh air has done you both good.” 

Kathryn got off the biobed. “How did you come up with a cure?” 

The smile on the Doctor’s face faltered somewhat. “We… contacted the Vidiians.” 

At Janeway’s resulting glare, he cowered, but then started opened his mouth to defend their actions. 

Janeway stopped him by holding up her hand. “I’ll get the details from Commander Chakotay.” She glanced at B’Elanna before addressing the EMH again. “Are we fit to return to duty?” 

The Doctor nodded. 

“Alright.” Janeway spoke. “I’ll be on the Bridge.” She turned to B’Elanna and her voice softened just the slightest bit as she addressed the other woman. “Lieutenant, I suggest you report to Engineering.” 

B’Elanna nodded once and followed the other woman out of Sickbay to the turbolifts. 

While B’Elanna waited for one to take her to Engineering, Kathryn entered one to go to the Bridge. Their eyes met briefly and as the doors were closing Kathryn heard B’Elanna whispering faintly. “I miss you already.” 

On her way to the Bridge, Kathryn took a few deep breaths, trying to get rid of the constriction she felt in her chest, but it wouldn’t go away.  
Before she could give it any more thought, the doors of the turbolift opened again and she was met with the smiling face of the Bridge Crew, and adopted her Captain persona.

“Welcome back, Captain.” Chakotay greeted her with a broad smile. 

Janeway approached him, tilting her head. Outwardly no one could tell how much her insides were in turmoil.  
“The Doctor tells me you disobeyed my direct order and contacted the Vidiians after all.” She pursed her lips. “That’s a court-martialable offence.” 

Chakotay grinned. “I’d gladly stand trial for that one.” 

“We all would.” Tom Paris chipped in.

Janeway smiled, but no one noticed that it didn’t reach her eyes. “Thank you all.” She straightened her shoulders and briskly walked to her command chair. “Well, we’ve lost time with all this. Let’s see if we can make some of it up.” She sat down. “Mister Paris, warp eight.” 

“Aye Captain.” The pilot acknowledged. 

Janeway turned to her First Officer who’d sat down next to her. “Commander, I would like to review the ship’s systems. Please have all department heads prepare a report for me by tomorrow.” 

The big man nodded. 

“And I would like to hear exactly what happened with the Vidiians.” The Captain added. 

As her First Officer recounted their encounter with the Vidiians, Kathryn noticed that the tightness in her chest was not dissipating. She bit her lip to avoid a sigh and tried to focus on Chakotay’s words instead of thinking about how much she wanted to sit by the fire next to B’Elanna on New Earth. 

~

B’Elanna had entered Engineering and her entire staff had stopped what they were doing to cheer and applaud her return. As sullen and abject as her mood had been on her way to Engineering, it had been impossible to keep it up in the presence of the laughing and happy faces of her co-workers who were rejoicing over her reappearance.

Despite herself, B’Elanna couldn’t help but grin as she looked around, realizing how Engineering and her colleagues had always been a safe haven for her. Maybe, she thought, this could be her sanctuary once again, now that her personal life had been so brutally ripped to shreds. 

“Alright, alright.” She held up her hand and the cheering subsided somewhat. “Any excuse will do to ditch work and throw a party, right?”

Her crew grinned. 

“It’s good to be back.” B’Elanna spoke, finding that she even meant it in a way. “Now, someone had better give me a status update on my engine. Stat.” 

Lieutenant Carey provided her with a PADD moments later and soon B’Elanna was engrossed in Engineering details.  
For a fleeting second she even managed to forget about Kathryn. 

~

It was already late in the evening when B’Elanna made it to her quarters. She’d spent most of the day in Engineering and later she’d caught up with Tom, Harry, Chakotay and some other friends. 

When she entered her quarters, they looked just as she remembered, except for the big box with her personal belongings in the middle of her living room. It had been beamed up from the planet directly to that spot, waiting for her to put everything back. 

With a sigh, B’Elanna dropped to her knees next to the box and put her hands on it, wondering if it was worth the trouble. Somehow she doubted that putting all these little things in their place would make her quarters feel like ‘home’ again. Maybe it would be less hassle to just throw the whole box out of an airlock. 

The only reason she hesitated to do so was the fact that Kathryn had packed it. B’Elanna had been too angry to spend time in the house and had taken care of packing all the equipment outside. By the time she’d gone back to the shelter, Kathryn had already taken care of the things inside. 

Slowly, she opened the seal and took the lid off the box.  
All her belongings were neatly placed inside: a stack of PADDs, some of her clothes, her mekh’leth and two fossilized insects she’d found on New Earth. Nothing special. Somehow B’Elanna felt disappointed, although she didn’t know what she had expected to find. A kind of sign from Kathryn perhaps, something that would show her that she cared enough to… 

B’Elanna sighed and sat back, closing her eyes. She would have to find a way to deal… If only she could figure out how.

Mechanically, she picked up the fossils and the mekh’leth and placed them on her desk. She took her clothes and hung them back in her closet. Last, she picked up the stack of PADDs, sorting through them to get them to the appropriate destination.  
There were some books, a few engineering notes on the power station she’d set up on New Earth, and a PADD she couldn’t immediately identify.

She scrolled through the unknown PADD’s content. It contained topographical scans of places B’Elanna didn’t recognize. Some spots were marked and there was a list with the coordinates of the marked regions and a brief description.  
A quiet sob escaped B’Elanna as she realized it was the list Kathryn had made with the places on New Earth she wanted them to visit on their vacation together.

~

After a sleepless night in her quarters, Kathryn was walking down the corridor on her way to the Bridge the next morning. 

Chakotay fell into step next to her. “Morning. On your way to the Mess Hall for breakfast?” 

At the thought of food, Kathryn’s stomach clenched. She shook her head. “Actually I was planning on having a cup of coffee in my Ready Room.” She spoke, hoping he would take a hint and leave her alone.

That hope was quickly dashed when Chakotay grabbed her arm good-naturedly. “Come on, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” When he noticed Janeway was about to protest, he bowed his head to her. “It will be good for the crew to see you out and about. They missed their Captain. It’ll be good for their morale.” 

Kathryn sighed, knowing she had no choice. Crew morale was her weak spot. 

She entered the turbolift with her First Officer and didn’t object when he ordered it to take them to the Mess Hall. 

Chakotay gazed in the direction of his Captain, and noticed she seemed a lot more subdued than he remembered.  
“Are you okay?” He asked her.

“Fine.” She answered curtly.

Chakotay frowned. “Computer, hold turbolift.” He turned to face Kathryn, who looked at him questioningly. “Don’t get me wrong,” he started, “but you don’t seem entirely… thrilled to be back on Voyager.” 

Kathryn sighed. “I’m happy to be back, Chakotay. Of course I am.” She shrugged. “It’s just that two days ago I was convinced that I’d spend the rest of my life on that planet, and now suddenly I’m back here.” She cocked her head. “It… takes some time to wrap my head around it.” 

Chakotay nodded pensively. “I think that’s understandable.” He spoke.  
“Maybe you should talk to B’Elanna.” He added before ordering the lift to resume. “She seems to be going through something similar.” 

At the mentioning of B’Elanna’s name, the band in Kathryn’s chest tightened. 

When they arrived in the Mess Hall, she was welcomed by Neelix and a number of crewmembers who were all happy that she was back on Voyager again. Hiding behind her Captain’s mask, Kathryn thanked them for their support and under the watchful eye of Chakotay and Neelix managed to eat something.

She didn’t see B’Elanna in the Mess Hall and silently asked herself if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

~

Two days after their return, B’Elanna was on her way to the Briefing Room for the weekly Staff Meeting.  
She smiled as Harry greeted her excitedly and sat down next to him while organizing her PADDs. She’d missed her friend almost as much as he’d missed her. 

The doors opened again and the Captain walked in.  
B’Elanna hadn’t seen her since they had returned from the planet and released from Sickbay two days before and she swallowed a lump in her throat at the sight of her former companion.  
For a moment B’Elanna thought she could see Janeway’s gaze lingering on her a bit longer than usual as she greeted everyone, but it was only a fraction of a second. When the Captain started to speak she sounded very business-like and B’Elanna wondered if there had been any personal recognition towards her at all.

“It’s good to see you all remembered the weekly Staff Meeting.” Janeway spoke as she took her place at the head of the table. 

Neelix smiled. “It’s good to see you back in your spot Captain. We missed you.” Then his smile faltered somewhat as he looked at Chakotay. “Not that you didn’t do a good job, Commander.” He added stutteringly, worried that he’d hurt the man’s feelings by saying that. “You did great! I mean, …” 

The Indian chuckled and held up his hand. “I think we’re all glad the Captain is back.” He grinned. “I just kept her chair warm.”

Janeway smiled. “I’m sure I speak for Lieutenant Torres as well when I say that it’s good to be back.” 

B’Elanna twisted her face in what she hoped was a convincing smile and focused again on her PADDs to deflect the attention. 

The Captain scraped her throat and professionally began the meeting which consisted mostly of a status update of all departments. 

When she got to Engineering, she addressed her Chief Engineer. “B’Elanna? I trust your department was handed back to you in good shape?” 

B’Elanna swallowed to get rid of the dryness in her mouth and nodded. “Yes Captain.” She spoke, thinking how weird it was to call this woman she had come to know so intimately ‘Captain’ again.  
“All Engineering systems are running within normal parameters.” B’Elanna spoke as she consulted a PADD. “That said, the warpcore efficiency –while still in spec– is a little lower than it should be in my opinion.” She looked up, directly into Janeway’s eyes, as she continued. “I’m putting a team on it to see if we can augment it.” 

This time B’Elanna could have sworn that the Captain’s professional façade had slipped for a split second. Janeway scraped her throat before she replied. “Very well, Lieutenant. Keep me posted.”  
She redirected her attention to Harry for a status on OPS and didn’t make eye contact with B’Elanna anymore for the rest of the meeting.

~

“Dinner this evening? My quarters?” 

Janeway looked up at the man sitting next to her on the Bridge and smiled, glad they were continuing their tradition of having dinner together every so often. 

“It’s a date.” She grinned, relieved she wouldn’t have to spend the evening alone in her quarters again. After about a week of being back on Voyager she’d come to dread the final hours of the day, for a long lonesome evening and a sleepless night usually followed suit. But not today, it seemed. 

So her spirits were high when she requested entrance to her friend’s quarters a couple of hours later. 

Chakotay let her in, accepting the bottle of wine she was holding out to him. He walked back in the room and triumphantly put a bowl of cut vegetables on the dinner table. “Fresh from the hydroponics bay.” He smiled. 

Janeway chuckled. “You went all out.” 

The big man shrugged. “The rest is still replicated, but at least some of it is fresh.” He looked at her questioningly. “I guess you’re used to fresh food after your stay on the planet, no?” 

Janeway tilted her head. “There was fruit from some trees nearby, I had a little garden where I was growing tomatoes and such. And B’Elanna caught a rabbit now and then…” Her voice faltered as she remembered the last time when they had ended up making love for the first time right next to the fire. 

Chakotay touched her arm and she was hurtled back to the present. 

“Are you okay?” The big man asked.

Janeway nodded unconvincingly, trying –again– not to think about B’Elanna. 

“You miss being there, don’t you?” Chakotay asked softly.

Janeway bit her lip and hesitantly nodded as she looked up to him. “I miss… the sun, my garden…” She whispered. “I miss being surrounded by nature…” She continued summing up everything only omitting how much she missed being with the woman she loved. “I miss going for a walk in the forest, I miss having all the time in the world, I miss bathing…” 

Chakotay frowned. “Bathing?” 

Janeway grinned. “There was a geothermal spring nearby, a pool of warm water in the bedrock. B’Elanna made a headrest in it to make it more comfortable.” She smiled. “Oh, it was really nice. There were flowers, beautiful flowers with the most wonderful scent growing nearby. Being in that tub was truly heavenly.”

As Chakotay’s eyebrow rose, Kathryn continued. “It was a really beautiful planet, Chakotay.” She smiled as she remembered. “We once climbed a mountain and the view was spectacular.” She snorted. “Of course on our way back to the shelter we got caught in a thunderstorm…” 

Chakotay let her tell her stories while he served dinner. Janeway carried on most of the conversation talking about her adventures on New Earth.  
The big man noticed that for the first time his Captain was back on Voyager, she actually looked happy. 

~

“Computer, save changes and end program.” 

B’Elanna exited the Holodeck and took the turbolift to Deck Two to get to her quarters. As she was walking through the corridors, her stomach rumbled and she realized she’d completely missed dinner. It was already late at night, but she figured Neelix would probably have some leftovers in his kitchen, so she turned around and headed for the Mess Hall instead.

The Mess Hall was dark when she entered, but back in the kitchen there was still light.  
B’Elanna entered the dark room and carefully walked towards the kitchen. “Neelix?” She called out as she rounded the counter.

“Oh, hi.” She spoke as she noticed the Captain trying to reach for something in the cupboard above the stove. For a moment she wondered how to act around the other woman, but then that thought vanished as it still seemed so natural to just be herself around the redhead.

“Hi.” Janeway spoke, drawing back her arm. She sighed. “I’m trying to reach the honey-pot, would you mind?” She stepped back to make space for the other woman.

B’Elanna reached out and, although they were more or less the same height, she did manage to grab the pot.  
She held it out to the other woman. “Here you go.” She spoke, softly smiling at her. 

Kathryn nodded. “Thank you.” She replied, taking the pot out of B’Elanna’s hands and opening it.

The half-Klingon watched for a moment as Kathryn put a spoon of honey in a cup of warm milk and stirred it.  
“Trouble sleeping?” She asked as she opened the refrigerator and found a dish of leftover Hasperat soufflé.

“A little.” Janeway confessed, hesitating for a moment to say more. Even though their conversation was relatively meaningless, she didn’t want it to end. Kathryn knew it would probably be wiser to go but something made her stay put, slowly stirring her warm milk without drinking it.  
She observed B’Elanna as she heated up the soufflé.

The half-Klingon grabbed a fork from a drawer. “You look good.” She commented off-handedly, indicating the Captain’s casual attire.

Kathryn bowed her head in acknowledgement of the compliment. “Thanks.” She spoke softly. “I had dinner with Chakotay.” 

B’Elanna grabbed the heated up soufflé and dug in. She knew the command duo regularly had dinner together before she and the Captain got stranded on New Earth, and she was glad that they would continue that tradition. “That’s good.” She spoke. “Now you can try to kill him with your cooking instead of me.” 

Kathryn chuckled. “Right.” 

“It’s good to see you laugh.” B’Elanna said before she could think the better of it. 

Kathryn’s smile froze as she remembered how B’Elanna had said something similar only weeks ago on New Earth when they were seeking shelter from the rain. 

B’Elanna remembered it too and noticed how Kathryn withdrew back into herself. “Sorry.” She mumbled, mentally kicking herself.

Kathryn looked up again. “How are you coming along with the warp core efficiency?” She asked, trying to put a safe emotional distance between them again.

B’Elanna bit her lip, unable to just switch off her feelings for the other woman.  
“Is that really what you want to talk about?” She whispered softly. 

Kathryn closed her eyes. “What do you want me to say?” She spoke hoarsely. 

B’Elanna put down her plate and took a step closer, noticing the other woman’s eyes widen. “Anything you want to say… Anything.” She answered.

Shaking her head, Kathryn stepped back. “What’s the point B’Elanna? What’s the point in telling you that I miss you? That I feel like I’m stuck in someone else’s life? That I wish Voyager had never come back for us?” Her voice hitched as she put down her milk and held up her hands. “This is my life now, being Captain of this ship. I was happy with that before and I’ll find a way to be happy with it again.” 

She moved into the direction of the door to leave, but B’Elanna blocked her path.  
“It doesn’t have to be like this.” The half-Klingon spoke placing her hand on the other woman’s arm. 

Kathryn stopped, as if frozen by the touch.  
“Don’t.” She whispered, but she didn’t make a move to get out of the other woman’s hold.

B’Elanna completely disregarded the request by inching closer and softly placing her finger under the other woman’s chin, lifting her head.  
“Stay.” B’Elanna whispered.

Kathryn looked in B’Elanna’s dark brown eyes and allowed herself to drown in them for a moment. The powerful tug of attraction almost made her forget her surroundings. So when B’Elanna got closer still, Kathryn closed her eyes and let her, even though she knew it wasn’t a good idea. 

Softly, B’Elanna brushed her lips over the other woman’s, and Kathryn whimpered. The touch jumpstarted her body and she lifted her hands to draw the other woman closer, reciprocating the kiss as she allowed herself to indulge for a little longer. 

Suddenly, however, the Mess Hall doors opened and both women heard Neelix enter, ordering the lights on. 

Kathryn drew back, wide-eyed. “I can’t.” She croaked as she backed away towards the kitchen door.  
Before B’Elanna could say anything, the other woman had already left.

The half-Klingon was still staring at the door when Neelix entered the kitchen. 

“Ah, Lieutenant. Can’t sleep?” He asked in his usual bubbly style.

B’Elanna half-shook her head. “I… I missed dinner, so I came in for a snack before hitting the hay.” She held up her almost-empty plate. “The soufflé was great.” 

“Thank you. I do think you’re right, if I do say so myself.” The Talaxian grinned. He was about to say more when he noticed the half-empty glass of milk and the honey-pot next to it. 

“I see the Captain was here too.” Neelix continued conversationally as he picked up the glass to recycle it together with B’Elanna’s dishes. “She told me she’s been having trouble sleeping since she got back. She blames the lack of natural light, says it throws her biorhythm completely out of whack.” He indicated the honey. “I told her honey in warm milk might help.” He held up his hands and leaned closer to her conspiratorially. “Personally I think it’s disgusting, but I guess humans have different taste buds.” 

“I guess.” B’Elanna spoke, not really listening to the other man.

Neelix placed a hand on her arm while frowning. “Are you alright? You seem a little preoccupied.” 

“Sorry, Neelix.” B’Elanna replied. “I guess I’m just tired.” 

“That’s alright. It is 0200 in the morning after all.” The Talaxian spoke. “I guess your biorhythm still has its rhythm.” 

“Seems so.” B’Elanna spoke, turning to leave. “I guess I better turn in.” She added, heading for the door. “Good night Neelix.” 

~

The next morning Kathryn Janeway sat behind her desk in her Ready Room and stifled a yawn. Since her return to Voyager a little over a week ago, she hadn’t been able to sleep for more than one or two hours consecutively and it was starting to take its toll. 

Pursing her lips, she got up and headed to the replicator to order a cup of coffee. Then she changed her mind and ordered a whole pot instead.

She’d just put the tray on her table when her door chime sounded.  
“Come in.” She answered, resisting the urge to yawn again. 

The doors opened and Chakotay entered, holding a couple of PADDs.  
“Good morning.” He spoke good-naturedly.

With a sigh Janeway sank down on the sofa. “That’s a matter of opinion, isn’t it?” She yawned, rubbing her face. 

Chakotay gave her a compassionate look and sat down next to her. “Still not sleeping well?” He asked.

“No.” Came the response, promptly followed by another yawn. “It’s like my body is completely confused by the lack of sunlight.” Janeway elaborated, only sharing that part of the entire picture. As far as anyone was aware, all that was going on was that she had trouble adjusting to life in the darkness of space. The true reason for her sleeplessness was nobody’s business.

She held up the pot of coffee, silently asking him if he wanted a cup too and proceeded to pour two cups. “What do you have for me there?” She asked, indicating the PADDs he was holding.

The XO chuckled. “Nothing so exciting it will keep you awake.” 

Janeway stifled another yawn before she took a sip of her coffee. 

Chakotay sighed. “Why don’t you take the rest of the day off? Get some rest?” 

The Captain scoffed. “It’s no use.” She spoke, taking another sip of coffee. “No matter how tired I am, the minute I try to sleep, I’m wide awake again.”

The big man wanted to comment, but then thought better than to argue and just smiled. “Alright. Do you want to have lunch later?” 

“We’ll see.” The Captain answered, dodging the question by picking up the first PADD.

~

“Can I talk to you?” 

B’Elanna looked up from her workstation into the face of the First Officer. “Uh, sure.” She looked up at him expectantly. 

The big man squinted at her as he leaned against a nearby console. “How have you been since you got back?” 

The half-Klingon shrugged, wondering what prompted that question. “Okay, I guess. Why?” 

Chakotay nodded pensively. “The Captain seems to have trouble readjusting.” He spoke and frowned. “She says it’s the lack of sunlight messing with her circadian rhythm, but I think something else might be going on.” He looked directly at the Chief Engineer. “Any idea what could be bothering her?” 

B’Elanna half-shook her head. “Not really.” She answered noncommittally. Although she had a pretty good idea why it the other woman was having a hard time, she kept it to herself.

“Do you think maybe you could talk to her?” Chakotay asked.  
As the half-Klingon tilted her head and sent him a wary look, he continued. “You know better than anyone what she’s going through. I think she will open up to you.” The First Officer paused and frowned. “I’m worried about her.”

B’Elanna sighed, realizing that she was indeed the only one who knew what was going on. Yet she couldn’t do anything about Kathryn’s insistence on adhering to protocol.  
“I’m worried about her too.” She admitted.

“So you’ll talk to her?” Chakotay asked.

B’Elanna bit her lip. If she could help the other woman, she would.  
“Yeah, I will.” She nodded.

The big man smiled. “Thanks.”  
Before leaving, he placed his hand on her shoulder. “I’m really glad you’re back, you know. It hasn’t been the same without you.”

~

“Come in.”

B’Elanna entered the Ready Room and frowned as she saw the drawn look on the Captain’s face. The other woman was sitting on the couch and looked like she hadn’t slept in days. 

B’Elanna had purposefully avoided her since their mid-night encounter in the Mess Hall a couple of days ago to give her the space she required. She had not wanted to make things more difficult for the other woman by pushing her. 

The half-Klingon refrained from a too personal greeting or voicing her worries about the Captain’s appearance as she approached her. Instead she just held out the PADD she was holding.  
“My update on the warp core efficiency project.”  
She intended to start with business to gauge the Captain’s state of mind and try to find a way in after that.

The Captain took the proffered report with a barely noticeable nod and only briefly scanned it before placing it on the coffee table.  
“Thanks for the update.” She spoke tiredly. 

B’Elanna’s frown deepened at the other woman’s apathetic tone.  
She sank down on the couch next to the Captain. “Are you okay?” 

Janeway sighed. “I wish everybody would stop asking me that.” 

“I guess we’re all worried about you.” B’Elanna spoke hesitantly. “You’re obviously having a hard time.” 

The Captain chuckled mirthlessly. “Obviously.”

B’Elanna bit her lip as she grabbed the other woman’s hand and got up, half pulling Kathryn with her. “Come with me, I want to show you something.” 

Janeway looked into the other woman’s dark eyes and wanted nothing more than to just give in. Yet she tilted her head. “I can’t.” She whispered.

The half-Klingon tugged at her arm. “Come on.” She urged. “I promise I won’t try to kiss you.” She added, wanting to ensure Kathryn that she had no ulterior motive. 

Despite her weariness, a tired smile played around the corners of Kathryn’s mouth.  
“I’m still on duty.” She remarked.

“For five more minutes.” B’Elanna added smoothly, glancing at the chronometer. She sat back down. “But I guess we can wait a bit.” 

Janeway closed her eyes briefly in defeat. It was obvious B’Elanna wasn’t going to let it go and she was too tired to fight.  
“What do you want to show me?” 

Getting up, B’Elanna extended her hand. “Come with me and find out.” 

Kathryn let out a deep sigh before she grabbed the hand and got up, figuring that giving in would probably be less hassle. 

Janeway followed her Chief Engineer out of the Ready Room and headed for the turbolift. She didn’t notice the approving nod that Chakotay threw B’Elanna as they passed him.

“Holodeck One.” B’Elanna ordered and Janeway frowned. 

“Holodeck?” She echoed.

B’Elanna just smiled. “You’ll see.” 

They exited the turbolift and walked the short distance to the Holodeck entrance. On the panel to the left, B’Elanna activated a program that was in her personal list and entered the password.  
Then she turned around to the other woman. “Ready?” 

Despite her tiredness, Kathryn felt a flutter of excitement for the first time in days and nodded slightly. 

“Close your eyes.” 

A look of protest appeared on the Captain’s face, but B’Elanna looked at her sternly. “Close them.” 

Janeway complied and B’Elanna placed one hand on the other woman’s back and held her arm with the other as she gently guided her inside. 

Trusting B’Elanna implicitly, Kathryn resisted the urge to peek and dutifully kept walking until the other woman stopped them both. 

“Open them.” The half-Klingon whispered closely to her Captain’s ear.

Kathryn’s blue eyes fluttered open and it took her only a fraction of a second to recognize the shelter standing in the clearing of the forest on New Earth.  
“Oh god.” She managed to whisper before the onslaught of emotions caused her knees to give out and she sank to the ground.

~

Kathryn’s eyes fluttered open and she noticed someone hovering above her. After blinking a few times, she saw the worried face of B’Elanna looking down on her. The half-Klingon’s lips were moving but Kathryn didn’t pay attention to them. Behind the other woman’s head, the sun was shining and the leaves of the trees were rustling in the wind. Kathryn focused again on the woman above her and wondered briefly why she was wearing her uniform. Then in one rush everything came back to her and her eyes widened. 

“We’re on the Holodeck.” Kathryn whispered. 

B’Elanna breathed out in relief. “Yes we are.” She spoke softly, helping the other woman to sit up. “Are you alright?” 

Janeway didn’t answer. Instead she just looked around wide-eyed.  
“You recreated it.” 

“Yes.” B’Elanna spoke. “Using the geographical surveys, our scans and what I can remember. It’s not perfect, but…” She looked at the other woman and noticed tears were welling up in her eyes. 

“It’s all we have left.” Kathryn whispered softly. 

“It’s mostly finished.” The half-Klingon spoke as she helped the other woman up. “I brought you here because I figured familiar surroundings would make you feel less lost.” She added softly. “You can come here any time you want.” She gave the other woman a quick onceover. “Will you be alright here by yourself?” 

Kathryn grabbed her hand. “Where are you going?” 

“I thought I’d give you some time to yourself here.”  
Although B’Elanna didn’t want to go, she wasn’t sure that the other woman would fully relax in her presence. 

Kathryn bit her lip. “Please stay.” She whispered. “It won’t be the same without you.” 

B’Elanna smiled and squeezed the other woman’s hand. “You want to take a walk?” 

Kathryn nodded, reluctantly letting go of B’Elanna’s hand, and they started walking in the direction of the geothermal spring together. 

As they walked, Kathryn could almost believe she was back on the planet. Only a few small details reminded her she was on the Holodeck.

When they reached the springs, B’Elanna sat down and took of her boots and socks and rolled up the legs of her pants. Then she slid her feet in the water and noticed Kathryn following suit. 

The sun shone down on them and Kathryn felt its warmth on her skin. For the first time since she’d gotten back to Voyager, she felt like the band constricting her chest wasn’t there and she inhaled deeply. “I feel like this is the first time I feel like I can breathe in days.” She whispered in wonder. “Thank you.”

B’Elanna placed her hand on top of the other woman’s and gently squeezed it in response. 

“It’s strange.” Kathryn continued after a while feeling the need to talk. “When we first got stranded in the Delta Quadrant, I missed my home as well, and I missed Mark.” She swallowed. “And it hurt, a lot. But somehow it was still bearable.” She frowned. “But now… after New Earth, it’s different. It feels like I can’t breathe sometimes.” She swallowed. “I’ve never felt so lost in my entire life.” 

Their hands were still intertwined and B’Elanna gently rubbed her thumb over the other woman’s hand.  
They sat in silence for a little while longer before B’Elanna spoke. “I’m used to feeling lost. I’ve been lost my whole life.” She paused and turned to Kathryn. “Being with you, on New Earth,” she whispered softly, “that was the first time I ever felt found.” 

Kathryn exhaled softly at B’Elanna’s words, squeezing the other woman’s hand in turn.  
“I miss you.” She whispered.

“I miss you too.” B’Elanna whispered back. 

They stared in each other’s eyes for a long moment, drinking in the sight of one another, wordlessly exchanging feelings. 

Kathryn couldn’t help herself and reached out to touch the other woman’s face.

“I promised I wouldn’t try to kiss you.” B’Elanna breathed. 

Kathryn bit her lip. “I know.” She whispered. “I…”

A sudden rustling in the trees startled them and both women turned around.  
A replica of New Earth’s monkey was jumping from a tree and stopped short when it saw them. A pair of panties was around its neck.

Kathryn turned to B’Elanna and lightly swatted the other woman’s shoulder. “Were the panties really necessary?” She asked, her eyes filled with mirth.

B’Elanna shrugged. “I wanted it to be realistic.” 

Moving slowly in order not to spook the animal, Kathryn took her feet out of the water and moved to sit on her knees, extending a hand to the monkey.  
“I really wish you would give those back, you know.” She cooed. “My panties out there on New Earth is one thing, but here on Voyager…” 

“They’re holographic.” B’Elanna pointed out. 

“They’re still mine.” Kathryn insisted good-naturedly. 

A light buzzing from the computer interrupted them and the monkey scurried away.

“What’s that?” Kathryn asked.

“The program’s warning that we have fifteen minutes left before our Holodeck time is up.” B’Elanna replied. “I programmed it because I prefer to have some time to mentally adjust to the idea of leaving here and going back to Voyager.” She elaborated.

Kathryn exhaled. “Good thinking.” 

They were both silent for a moment as they put their socks and boots back on. 

“Thank you for taking me here.” Kathryn spoke heartfelt as they both stood up. 

“Feel free to use the program anytime you want.” B’Elanna replied. “It’s encrypted so only you and I have access and the Holodeck’s privacy lock is automatically activated when the program is running.”

Kathryn looked around and breathed in deeply. “I wish we never had to leave.” 

B’Elanna put her hand on the other woman’s arm. “Me too. But the good thing is we can come back whenever we want.” She smiled at the other woman. “I’m glad coming here helped.”

“It did.” Kathryn whispered. “More than you know.” 

They looked at each other for a moment, clinging to the last moments.

“Ready to go?” B’Elanna asked finally.

Kathryn nodded nervously. 

“Computer end program.” B’Elanna spoke and with a sizzling sound New Earth vanished and was replaced by the hologrid. 

The grey walls seemed like a prison to Kathryn for a moment, but she knew that with a simple command she could be back on a facsimile of New Earth and that knowledge was enough not to want to crawl into a corner and cry, just as she had wanted to do every day since their return to Voyager.

B’Elanna placed a hand between the other woman’s shoulder blades and gently guided her to the exit. When they reentered the Starfleet environment, B’Elanna felt a tension return in the other woman and she dropped her hand, mindful of their surroundings. 

In the corridor, they ran into ensign Saunders and crewman Lee who were dressed for skiing on the Holodeck. “Captain, Lieutenant.” They both greeted them politely and Kathryn nodded back, acutely aware of their positions on board this ship.

The Captain and the Chief Engineer took the turbolift together to get to their quarters, maintaining a respectful distance. They both stopped hesitantly in front of B’Elanna’s quarters. The half-Klingon wanted nothing more than to ask the other woman in, but she didn’t want to make things harder for Kathryn than they already were, so she refrained from doing so. 

Kathryn stood in front of B’Elanna, acutely aware they were standing in the corridor for everyone to see, although there was no one around.  
“Thank you for taking me to the Holodeck.” She spoke softly. 

“Anytime.” B’Elanna replied, resisting the urge to take the other woman’s hand. “Feel free to use the program and let me know if you want company.” 

Kathryn nodded hesitantly.  
“Well, good night B’Elanna.” She added softly.

Further down the hall, a door opened.

“Good night Captain.” B’Elanna responded formally and entered her quarters. Inside, she leaned against the door and clenched her fists, calling upon every ounce of willpower she had to let the other woman walk away.

~

The next morning Kathryn Janeway breezed into her Ready Room, smiling apologetically to Commander Chakotay who was already there, waiting for her.

“Sorry I’m late,” she began, walking to the replicator to order a pot of coffee, “but I overslept.” 

The big man smiled. “So that means that you actually slept?” 

“Like a baby.” Kathryn nodded. “I think my body finally got the message.” 

“I’m glad.” Chakotay responded as the Captain walked over to the sofa and placed the tray with the coffee on the table.

The woman sighed as she sat down. “Me too.” She took the PADD Chakotay was holding out of his hands. “What’s on the agenda for today?” 

She read through the contents. “Request for rearranging crew quarters?” She spoke with a raised eyebrow. “Personnel matters are your authority, Commander. You don’t have to discuss this with me.” 

“Normally I agree.” Chakotay replied as he poured the coffee. “But this matter I need to run by you first.” 

At Janeway’s questioning frown he elaborated. “I’ve received a request from Ensign Jill Saunders and Crewman Darren Lee to bunk together.” 

“Saunders and Lee.” Kathryn echoed, remembering running into them the previous evening after she’d spent time with B’Elanna on New Earth. “Both from Sensor Analysis.”

Chakotay nodded. “Indeed.” 

“What’s so unusual about their request?” Janeway asked.

“They’ve been seeing each other for about a year now. Basically, via this request, they want to live together as a couple.” Chakotay stated.

Surprised Janeway exhaled. “I didn’t even know they were together.” She stated.

“It hasn’t been a problem. And it has been Starfleet’s policy to allow these types of relationships as long as they don’t disrupt performance, so I’ve looked the other way.” Chakotay spoke. “But there’s a difference between looking the other way and actively condoning fraternization by allowing them to move in together. 

Janeway nodded gravely. “Yes there is.” She murmured. “Are they in a direct chain of command?” 

“No.” Chakotay shook his head. “Darren Lee reports to Ensign Wang, Saunders’ back-up.”

“That’s not as indirect as I’d prefer.” Janeway pursed her lips and sighed. “What do you think?” 

“I don’t know.” Chakotay put down his cup. “So far their relationship hasn’t posed any problems in Sensor Analysis. I assume that won’t suddenly change because they live together.” He reasoned. 

Kathryn took a sip of her coffee. “In this situation, Starfleet usually tries to reassign one of the people involved, but out here, that’s a luxury we don’t have.” 

Chakotay made a face. “More than that, if we allow them to move in together, it sets a precedent. We’ll have a difficult time regulating anything regarding fraternization in the future, should the need arise.” He angled his head. “And the longer it takes us to get home, the more we’ll be confronted with cases like this.” 

Janeway bit her lip, her thoughts inadvertently going to her relationship with B’Elanna which she was nipping in the bud for this very reason.  
“Do you think there are more couples who’ll want to live together?” She asked.

“Maybe one or two.” Chakotay said pensively. “Of course I’m not aware of every relationship on board.” He grinned.

Kathryn refilled her cup. “Probably not.” She mumbled, feeling exposed even though there was no reason to assume Chakotay knew anything about what happened between her and B’Elanna on New Earth.

The Captain sighed. “So what do you think we should do with Saunders and Lee?” 

“I know it’s against regulations, but I’m inclined to grant their request.” The First Officer spoke. “It will most likely take us quite some time to get home. We should all be so lucky to find someone special to spend that time with.”

Janeway briefly closed her eyes and swallowed discreetly. 

“What do you think?” Chakotay asked, interpreting the Captain’s pause as a sign of disagreement. 

“I think… that given our current circumstances, it makes sense that regulation R-1138 can be reviewed on a case by case basis.” Janeway conceded.

Chakotay nodded. “Alright. I’ll let them know.” He drank the rest of his coffee and stood. “You want to have dinner tonight?” He added.

Janeway tilted her head. “I have some Holodeck time scheduled for tonight.” She spoke. 

“Some other time then.” Chakotay smiled. “Enjoy your evening.” 

As Kathryn watched his back as he left the Ready Room, she wondered if she’d made the right decision. 

~

“Whatever you said to the Captain, it worked.” 

Chakotay smiled as he placed his tray of food in front of B’Elanna in the Mess Hall. 

“Hmm?” The half-Klingon spoke, lost in thought. 

“The Captain, she seemed to feel better today.” Chakotay elaborated. “She seemed more rested, even cheerful. So whatever you said to her yesterday, it worked.” 

B’Elanna nodded in acknowledgement. “Good.”

Chakotay started eating. “Thank you for talking to her.” 

“No problem.” B’Elanna shrugged. “Glad it helped.” 

“No wonder it was you who could get through to her.” The Commander added. “You must have gotten to know her pretty well, living together on that planet.” He spoke between bites. 

B’Elanna shrugged noncommittally. “I guess.” 

“I mean,” Chakotay continued, “you’ve spent months there with only each other for company…” He paused, contemplating that thought. “It’s only logical you two developed a special bond.” He added. 

B’Elanna briefly closed her eyes, remembering just how special their bond had become. 

Before Chakotay could wonder about his friend’s strange response, he noticed Jill Saunders and Darren Lee approach their table.

“Commander.” Saunders spoke. “Sorry to interrupt, but have you talked to the Captain?” 

The XO nodded to the couple. “We’ve decided to grant your request.” He held up his hands as he saw two excited smiles appear. “Given our current circumstances the Captain and I have decided to adapt the rules regarding fraternization.” Chakotay elaborated. “But we do want to keep some control. You can be in a relationship and even live together, but if this adversely affects your work performance, we keep the prerogative to transfer either one or both of you to another post in order to ensure the smooth functioning of this ship.”

Lee and Saunders both nodded.  
“Understood Sir.” Lee spoke. “And thank you. We won’t let you down.” 

“That’s what I’m hoping for, Crewman.” Chakotay spoke. “I’ll look into the practical arrangements of your new quarters as soon as possible.”

“Thank you Commander.” Saunders spoke, and she and Lee both nodded to Chakotay and B’Elanna in greeting.

“The Captain agreed to this?” B’Elanna frowned as soon as they were out of earshot. 

“We debated it at length,” Chakotay started, “but yes, we both came to the conclusion that the regulations regarding fraternization may be too harsh in our current situation.” 

“Unbelievable.” B’Elanna mumbled. 

“Something wrong?” Chakotay frowned, wondering why this piece of information seemed to trouble B’Elanna. 

B’Elanna shrugged. “I guess I didn’t expect it. I mean, they work in the same department.” She frowned. “I never thought the Captain would allow this.” 

Chakotay tilted his head. “It’s not ideal. The Captain knows that too.” He sighed. “But we’re in a unique situation and we may be in it for a while.” He put down his fork. “When the game changes, the rules do too.” 

“Does that mean that the whole regulation on fraternization goes out the airlock?” B’Elanna asked.

“I suppose we’ll look at it from case to case, making sure that the functioning of this ship is not impaired.” Chakotay concluded, picking up his plate to recycle it and leaving B’Elanna alone with her thoughts.

~

Kathryn was enjoying the feeling of digging into the soil with her bare hands, planting seeds.  
She’d spent the better part of the evening on the Holodeck, taking a long walk in the forest and after that, starting her garden from scratch. The close contact with nature almost made her forget that she was a Starfleet Captain. Almost. 

“There you are.” A soft voice spoke, and Kathryn looked up to see B’Elanna standing a couple of meters away.

“Sorry to intrude.” The half-Klingon spoke apologetically as she approached. 

Sitting up, Kathryn reached out to grab a cloth and cleaned her hands. “That’s alright.”

B’Elanna pointed at the little garden. “You don’t have to stop because of me.” 

“I’ve just finished planting.” Kathryn smiled. “If all goes well, I’ll have tomatoes, radishes and carrots pretty soon.” 

“You still owe me that home-cooked meal, remember?” B’Elanna grinned. 

Kathryn just made a face in response and grabbed B’Elanna’s proffered hand to get up.  
“What brings you here?” She asked, throwing her gardening tools in her bucket.

B’Elanna shrugged. “I couldn’t sleep.” 

“Something on your mind?” She frowned, picking up the bucket. 

B’Elanna loosely grabbed the other woman’s hand again. “You.” She spoke softly, taking Kathryn’s other hand and the bucket clattered to the ground. 

She stared into Kathryn’s eyes and tried to convey all her feelings through that look. “I miss you.” She breathed.

Kathryn swallowed, suddenly overrun by the powerful longing she felt for the other woman.  
“I miss you too.” She replied hoarsely. 

Gently but decidedly, B’Elanna moved closer and captured the other woman’s lips with her own.  
Kathryn tensed briefly but as B’Elanna softly cupped her face, her resolve crumbled and she leaned in, kissing the other woman back with fervor. 

The Computer’s signal that their Holodeck time was almost up interrupted them all too soon. 

Kathryn pulled back. “We have to stop.” She breathed.

B’Elanna nuzzled her neck. “My quarters or yours?” 

Closing her eyes briefly, Kathryn took the other woman by the shoulders. “We can’t do this B’Elanna.” 

The half-Klingon exhaled violently and rolled her eyes. “Why not?” She held her hands with the palms up. “Things have changed. You’re letting Saunders and Lee move in together.”

Kathryn eyed her for a moment, frowning. “That’s a completely different situation.” 

“How?” B’Elanna riposted. “They work in the same department. They’re not the same rank. They love each other and they want to be together. Sound familiar?”

“It’s different because I’m the Captain.” Kathryn reiterated. “I don’t have the luxury of getting involved with someone. We had this discussion.” 

“No, YOU had this discussion, unilaterally.” B’Elanna scoffed. “I clearly don’t have a say in the matter…” She bit her lip, trying very hard not to turn the argument into a fight because she knew very well that Kathryn couldn’t just ignore their ranks. 

Just then, the Computer’s signal sounded again, indicating their time was now up and the holographic landscape around them disappeared and was replaced by the Hologrid. 

Kathryn closed her eyes, not ready to face reality just yet. 

She felt B’Elanna’s hand on her arm. 

“You okay?” The half-Klingon asked gently, noticing correctly how the other woman had difficulty letting go of the facsimile of what she considered her home. 

Kathryn bit her lip and nodded slowly. “I can always come back.” She whispered, sounding like she was reassuring herself. 

“You can always come back.” B’Elanna gently affirmed and she lightly hugged the other woman in comfort.

She wanted to say more but was stopped short when someone requested entrance to the Holodeck. 

Kathryn sighed. “Let’s go. We’re taking someone’s Holodeck time.” 

They exited the Holodeck and greeted crewman Jor in the corridor, who looked at them wide-eyed when he realized just who he’d just urged to hurry up.

When both women were in the turbolift, B’Elanna turned to the other woman, focusing on the practical side of the matter. “So how do you propose we go about this? Because I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we seem to wind up kissing more often than not these days.” 

Kathryn rubbed her face and sighed. “I don’t know B’Elanna. I don’t have all the answers either.” 

B’Elanna lightly put her hand between the other woman’s shoulder blades. “I can order this turbolift to Deck Ten.” She whispered conspiratorially. “We can take a shuttle and go back to New Earth.” 

The statement earned her a soft chuckle. “Tempting.” Kathryn replied wistfully. “But what would we tell the crew?” 

“That you had to go back because you left a pair of panties behind.” B’Elanna deadpanned. 

Kathryn couldn’t help but laugh at that and B’Elanna reached out to gently cup her chin. “I don’t want you to lose your smile.” She whispered. “You deserve to be happy, for your sake as well as for the sake of this crew.” 

Kathryn wanted to say something, but then the turbolift doors opened and the moment was gone. 

They both exited the lift and walked the short distance through the corridor in silence. When they reached B’Elanna’s quarters, both women stopped. 

B’Elanna bit her lip. “I’m here if you need me.” She said softly, knowing that pressuring Kathryn wouldn’t help at all. 

The other woman nodded slowly, acknowledging her.  
“Goodnight B’Elanna.” She whispered and watched as the other woman entered her quarters. 

When the doors closed and the other woman disappeared from view, she swallowed. The heavy feeling in her chest seemed to return and she tried taking a deep breath in order to get rid of it. 

She took a few steps in the direction of her own quarters, but the feeling of constriction in her chest didn’t go away. It seemed that it only subsided on the Holodeck, in the New Earth simulation. And also when she was with B’Elanna, Kathryn had to admit.  
She took another step and stopped, closing her eyes, wondering if this feeling would ever go away. She found the prospect of living with it for the foreseeable future rather bleak. 

Kathryn looked back to the door of B’Elanna’s quarters and felt the constriction in her chest lessen somewhat. Purposefully she took a step back, and another one, and another one, until she was standing in front of B’Elanna’s door again. 

At the sound of the doorchime, B’Elanna opened the door.

“I can’t walk away.” Kathryn whispered with a tormented look on her face. “I can’t breathe when I do.” 

Gently, B’Elanna gathered the other woman in her arms, making shushing sounds. “I know there’s a lot at stake here, just like there was on New Earth. But we can figure it all out together…” 

She felt Kathryn letting out a deep breath and then the other woman looked up at her. “Okay.” She nodded slowly and then buried her head again in the other woman’s neck. “I love you.” She whispered.

“I love you too.” B’Elanna said back, holding on a little tighter. “No matter what happens…”

~

~EPILOGUE~  
(several months later)

Chakotay grabbed the first PADD of the stack he had to go through in the next hour and leaned back in his chair.

He activated the device and read the first words on the screen: 

Subject: Formal request for joint quarters  
Sender: Captain Kathryn Janeway & Lieutenant B’Elanna Torres

The Commanding Officer chuckled. “Well, it’s about time…”


End file.
